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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, Such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money . Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money
Some people assume naively that should endure inadequate circumstances,
while
 some other people argue that should make an effort to improve unsatisfactory positions. In
this
 essay, I shall discuss both viewpoints by giving proper examples. On the one hand, some human beings think they do not have the ability to do a demanding job
due to
 a lack of good career growth by their managers, so they lose the intention to acquire high-level assignments and they will bear an insufficiency of money and will restrict to compulsory work. Some individuals do not have a good idea, plan, and mental preparation for leaving an unbearable situation.
For example
, If someone can not resolve his requirements in his chores and errands in a public setting and there is a lack of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 law, he can not boost his skills to apply for a good position and a great deal of money.
On the other hand
, most folks concur with
this
 idea to make an attempt to enhance circumstances. They have a purpose in life and a plan for each thing
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they know that they will not be a successful person without them.
Nevertheless
, they witness
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
steady growth professionally, and their income rises year by year and they can keep a
high-level
Correct your spelling
high level
show examples
 in their career.
For instance
, an individual who chooses a permanent and fulfilling job,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has high motivation (is highly motivated) for doing their tasks.
Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on

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coherence cohesion
The essay requires a clearer logical structure. Ideas must flow naturally from one to the next, and paragraphing needs to be clear and purposeful with appropriate use of linking words.
coherence cohesion
Ensure an introduction and conclusion are clearly distinguishable and outline the essay's content. Both should explicitly frame the discussion and the writer's position.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with more specific examples and explanations to strengthen the argument and add clarity. The content needs to directly relate to the points made.
task achievement
While the essay attempts to address the task, it could more successfully satisfy the requirements with a full response to the prompt. Make sure to discuss both sides and provide a clear opinion.
task achievement
Ideas must be clear, comprehensive, and detailed. Consider developing each point thoroughly to ensure depth and understanding.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to substantiate claims. Ideally, these should be realistic, detailed, and improve the argument's weight.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Contentment
  • Resilience
  • Personal growth
  • Endurance
  • Initiative
  • Advancement
  • Catalyst
  • Financial stability
  • Status quo
  • Innovation
  • Missed opportunities
  • Life satisfaction
  • Adverse situations
  • Taking control
  • Risk assessment
  • Change management
  • Self-improvement
  • Motivation
  • Stagnation
  • Proactivity
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