There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, youngsters are more pressured than in the past in order to reach academic success.
Therefore
, some people argue that non-academic disciplines ought to be taken away from schools, so as to let students
focus on the most important subjects
. Personally, I strongly disagree, in fact
Add a comma
fact,
students
should keep on studying non-academic subjects
.
First and foremost, students
during their academic career have to deal with numerous expectations and this
is the reason why they feel so overwhelmed. Therefore
, even if some subjects
were removed, this
would not solve the problem. To illustrate, an important American study demonstrated that almost 80% of the pressure a student feels is due to
others' expectations, not to Correct article usage
the subjects
subjects
themselves. Correct article usage
the subjects
Thus
, changing school plans without varying the entire environment would not be effective.
Secondly
, practical subjects
, like physical education, do not take up so much time like
classic disciplines do. Replace the word
as
For instance
, in regards to cookery
the whole time spent on Add a comma
cookery,
this
subject is the one spent during classes. In fact, students
do not receive homeworks
and Correct your spelling
homework
moreover
they find cooking very relaxing, so it is actually a regenerating class rather than a stressful one. Add a comma
moreover,
Furthermore
, doing practical activities at school can improve the physical health of the students
, avoiding medical issues like obesity or heart problems.
To summarise, removing some subjects
from the study plan would not result in anything good, since it would not reduce people's expectations towards students
but rather it would make them more stressed, by taking them
away their moments of Correct pronoun usage
apply
vent
during schooltime.Wrong verb form
venting
Submitted by Ricky.rebecchi on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Make sure to develop your ideas fully with detailed explanations and relevant examples, which can bolster the quality of your argument.
task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas with clear supporting details to enhance your task response score.
coherence cohesion
Aim to include a broader range of linking devices and cohesive phrases to establish a smoother flow of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Strive to construct paragraphs with a clear central topic, which is then elaborated upon with supporting sentences that tie back to the main argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph's main idea is clear and that subsequent sentences support and expand on that idea.