The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.
The plans
illustrates
a public Change the verb form
illustrate
park
called Grange Park
, when it inital
opened in 1920 and how it looks now.
Correct your spelling
initial
initially
Overall
, the park
layout has been updated to include modern facilities, which have replaced some natural features. The updates have improved park's
Correct article usage
the park's
accessiblity
and functionality.
The Correct your spelling
accessibility
park
's two entrances on Arnold Avenut
and Correct your spelling
Avenue
Eldon
Street
have remained the same. However
, the park
now has an underground car park
and a right-side entrance from Eldon
Street
was constructed for car park
users.
Once inside the park
from Eldon
Street
, the central feature
used to be a fountain, which have
been replaced Change the verb form
has
to
Change preposition
with
rose
garden surrounded by seats. On the right side, from Correct article usage
a rose
Eldon
street
glasshouse and Capitalize word
Street
seats
area have given the way to water Change the noun form
seat
feature
. A cafe and children's play area have been added, occupying the space where rose
garden and water plants pond used to be, opposite the water Correct article usage
the rose
feature
.
The park
's left side, which previously housed stage
for musicians, now serves as an amphitheatre. Correct article usage
a stage
THe
only unchanged Correct your spelling
The
feature
in this
area is rose
garden on the Arnold Avenue side.Correct article usage
the rose
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task response
Your essay generally addresses the task, but some areas require more detail for a complete response. Mentioning the specific changes and additions, such as the children's play area and the new water feature, is crucial. Consider adding more comparisons between the old and new park to enhance clarity.
coherence
Try to improve the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that related ideas are grouped together. For example, discuss all changes to entrances and exits in one section and alterations to park features in another.
cohesion
Avoid minor grammatical mistakes. For example, 'The plans illustrates' should be 'The plans illustrate' and 'when it inital opened' should be 'when it initially opened'. These changes will make your essay more polished.
task response
You have included both entrances and the additions like the underground car park and new amenities like the café and children’s play area. This shows you understand the changes made to the park.
coherence
You have used comparative language to highlight the changes over time, such as 'used to be' and 'have been replaced,' which enhances the reader's understanding of the transformations.
cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and summary, which provides a good framework for understanding the changes.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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