The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

#plans #show #park #first

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The plans

illustrates

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illustrate

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a public

park

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called Grange

Park

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, when it

inital

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initial

initially

opened in 1920 and how it looks now.

Overall

Linking Words

, the

park

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layout has been updated to include modern facilities, which have replaced some natural features. The updates have improved

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park's

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the park's

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accessiblity

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accessibility

and functionality. The

park

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's two entrances on Arnold

Avenut

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Avenue

and

Eldon

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Street

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have remained the same.

However

Linking Words

, the

park

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now has an underground car

park

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and a right-side entrance from

Eldon

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Street

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was constructed for car

park

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users. Once inside the

park

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from

Eldon

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Street

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, the central

feature

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used to be a fountain, which

have

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has

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been replaced

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with

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rose

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a rose

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garden surrounded by seats. On the right side, from

Eldon

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street

Capitalize word

Street

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glasshouse and

seats

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seat

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area have given the way to water

feature

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. A cafe and children's play area have been added, occupying the space where

rose

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the rose

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garden and water plants pond used to be, opposite the water

feature

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. The

park

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's left side, which previously housed

stage

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a stage

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for musicians, now serves as an amphitheatre.

THe

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The

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only unchanged

feature

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this

Linking Words

area is

rose

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the rose

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garden on the Arnold Avenue side.

Submitted by dnm.best on Thu Jan 04 2024

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task response

Your essay generally addresses the task, but some areas require more detail for a complete response. Mentioning the specific changes and additions, such as the children's play area and the new water feature, is crucial. Consider adding more comparisons between the old and new park to enhance clarity.

coherence

Try to improve the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that related ideas are grouped together. For example, discuss all changes to entrances and exits in one section and alterations to park features in another.

cohesion

Avoid minor grammatical mistakes. For example, 'The plans illustrates' should be 'The plans illustrate' and 'when it inital opened' should be 'when it initially opened'. These changes will make your essay more polished.

task response

You have included both entrances and the additions like the underground car park and new amenities like the café and children’s play area. This shows you understand the changes made to the park.

coherence

You have used comparative language to highlight the changes over time, such as 'used to be' and 'have been replaced,' which enhances the reader's understanding of the transformations.

cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and summary, which provides a good framework for understanding the changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

180 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

recreational facilities
landscaping
naturalistic
amenities
formal gardens
ergonomic
symmetric designs
inclusive
accessible
accommodations
native plant species
societal changes
visitor services
community events
evolution
modern playgrounds
wildflower meadows

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The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

Fully explain your ideas

In some cultures, children are told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

With divorce rates and family breakdowns increasing globally, it is generally accepted that families today are not as close as they used to be. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.

Scientist agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damanging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by education people while others believe that this education will not work. Discuss buth view and give your opinion.

People from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Some people think that government should make it easier for them to enter universities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?