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Band 2.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

#plans #show #park #first
The plans
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 a public
park
 called Grange
Park
, when it
inital
Correct your spelling
initial
initially
 opened in 1920 and how it looks now.
Overall
, the
park
 layout has been updated to include modern facilities, which have replaced some natural features. The updates have improved
park's
Correct article usage
the park's
show examples
accessiblity
Correct your spelling
accessibility
 and functionality. The
park
's two entrances on Arnold
Avenut
Correct your spelling
Avenue
 and
Eldon
Street
 have remained the same.
However
, the
park
 now has an underground car
park
 and a right-side entrance from
Eldon
Street
 was constructed for car
park
 users. Once inside the
park
 from
Eldon
Street
, the central
feature
 used to be a fountain, which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been replaced
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
rose
Correct article usage
a rose
show examples
 garden surrounded by seats. On the right side, from
Eldon
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
 glasshouse and
seats
Change the noun form
seat
show examples
 area have given the way to water
feature
. A cafe and children's play area have been added, occupying the space where
rose
Correct article usage
the rose
show examples
 garden and water plants pond used to be, opposite the water
feature
. The
park
's left side, which previously housed
stage
Correct article usage
a stage
show examples
 for musicians, now serves as an amphitheatre.
THe
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
 only unchanged
feature
 in
this
 area is
rose
Correct article usage
the rose
show examples
 garden on the Arnold Avenue side.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task response
Your essay generally addresses the task, but some areas require more detail for a complete response. Mentioning the specific changes and additions, such as the children's play area and the new water feature, is crucial. Consider adding more comparisons between the old and new park to enhance clarity.
coherence
Try to improve the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that related ideas are grouped together. For example, discuss all changes to entrances and exits in one section and alterations to park features in another.
cohesion
Avoid minor grammatical mistakes. For example, 'The plans illustrates' should be 'The plans illustrate' and 'when it inital opened' should be 'when it initially opened'. These changes will make your essay more polished.
task response
You have included both entrances and the additions like the underground car park and new amenities like the café and children’s play area. This shows you understand the changes made to the park.
coherence
You have used comparative language to highlight the changes over time, such as 'used to be' and 'have been replaced,' which enhances the reader's understanding of the transformations.
cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and summary, which provides a good framework for understanding the changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recreational facilities
  • landscaping
  • naturalistic
  • amenities
  • formal gardens
  • ergonomic
  • symmetric designs
  • inclusive
  • accessible
  • accommodations
  • native plant species
  • societal changes
  • visitor services
  • community events
  • evolution
  • modern playgrounds
  • wildflower meadows
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