IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #reason #language #travel #work #country #someone
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
One of the broadly mentioned troubles in recent times is some people have an opinion that the reason for learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is in order to
travel
Use synonyms
 to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign
language
Use synonyms
.
The
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
 want to study a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 for
travel
Use synonyms
 and work can't be overemphasized. Whilst touring, understanding the nearby
language
Use synonyms
 can significantly beautify the experience, allowing for smoother navigation,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
higher knowledge of cultural nuances, and greater meaningful interactions with locals.
This
Linking Words
 can transform a ride from a superficial sightseeing excursion right into a more immersive cultural experience.
Likewise
Linking Words
, in the professional area, information
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 can open up numerous job possibilities, particularly in multinational organizations.
This
Linking Words
 can facilitate business negotiations, improve relationships with worldwide colleagues and offer a competitive benefit inside the international job market.
For example
Linking Words
, many employers choose candidates who can talk efficaciously with customers and companions who communicate extraordinary languages.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 some humans declare that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 getting to know
a foreign languages
Correct the article-noun agreement
a foreign language
foreign languages
show examples
 it's far unnecessary. it is able
to has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
numerous reasons why people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 like that.
However
Linking Words
, there is one big reason why people no longer want to lose their culture: if everyone and everyone starts learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
, they will forget about their culture. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
 the practical benefits of learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 for
travel
Use synonyms
 and work are significant, the broader cognitive, cultural and personal benefits are equally important. The ability to communicate in multiple languages enriches a person's life in countless ways, making it a valuable
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
 that goes beyond just professional or
travel
Use synonyms
 goals.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure the introduction succinctly presents both views clearly. The current introduction can be tightened up for better clarity.
task achievement
The body paragraphs should delve deeper into the reasons beyond travel and work for learning a foreign language. More varied examples could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve cohesion, make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For example, use linking words like 'additionally' or 'furthermore' to connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
In the 'other side' paragraph, clarify the reasons why some people think learning a foreign language is unnecessary. Also, address the point about cultural preservation in more detail.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from a clearer paragraph structure. Ensure that each paragraph contains one main idea supported by relevant examples.
task achievement
The essay discusses both views, which is essential for a complete task response.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion provides a clear opinion and summarizes the discussed points effectively.
task achievement
There is a clear attempt to develop main ideas in the paragraphs, which is commendable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: