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Band 4

Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and will use up the world’s resources. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #air #travel #pollution #world’s #resources
Nowadays
air
 pollution is one of
major
Correct article usage
the major
show examples
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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earth and some
people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
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 that
air
travel
 restrictions
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 a solution to battle the issue. I completely disagree with that statement and in
this
 essay will discuss the reasons. First of all,
air
travel
 is not the major cause
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
 pollution and once prohibited flights would not be the answer.
In other words
,
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of transport and road systems increased
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of vehicles on the road.
Furthermore
,
due to
 globalization more and more factories constructed. These reasons directly accelerated the problem and
air
 becomes hazardous for living beings. As an example, recently conducted research revealed that
conjested
Correct your spelling
congested
 cities which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 many factories and traffic has more polluted
air
 and
air
 has
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of hazardous. The main reason for
agree
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agreeing
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 with
air
travell
Correct your spelling
travel
 is
that is
 the most convenient transport method to
travel
other
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to other
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 countries.
Moreover
, most of the
people
 are working and studying overseas and
also
 many individuals tend to migrate abroad.
Therefore
, flying is the best way to reach long destinations. If restricted flights,
people
 will face many transportation issues without proper solutions.
For instance
, sometimes
due to
 weather
forecast
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forecasts
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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international
air
 services
cancelled
Add a missing verb
are cancelled
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 temporarily,
makes
Verb problem
causing
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 passengers many difficulties.
Therefore
,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 by
air
 should not be restricted. In conclusion, some
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 of
people
make
Verb problem
are
show examples
Replace the word
debating
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debate
Wrong verb form
debating
show examples
Correct word choice
whether to
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to
Correct word choice
whether to
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 improve the quality of
air
 by restricting
air
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
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travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
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, but I do not agree
Change preposition
with
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of
Change preposition
with
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this
due to
 flight
travel
 is the most easiest and reliable method to
travel
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
trough
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 countries.
Submitted by ranasinghenadeeshani07 on

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Coherence Cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer organizational structure. Paragraphs should flow logically from one to the next, with each main body paragraph focusing on a single clear idea that responds directly to the essay question. Make sure to use a variety of cohesive devices (e.g., linking words, pronouns, conjunctions) to achieve continuity and coherence throughout.
Task Achievement
It is crucial to fully address the prompt and cover all parts of the task. Each paragraph should directly address the prompt, and your opinion needs to be clear throughout the essay. Develop your main points further with specific details and examples, and ensure they relate back to your thesis. The conclusion should summarize your arguments and restate your opinion, offering a clear resolution.

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