Even when poor countries get help from rich countries, hunger is still an issue. Discuss probable causes and solutions. Support your answer with specific reasons and examples.
Hunger is still a
problem
to
poor Change preposition
for
countries
even they
receive help from rich Correct word choice
though they
countries
. i
strongly Change the capitalization
I
agreee
with Correct your spelling
agree
agreed
this
statement and this
is because there is a poor channeling
system of the Change the spelling
channelling
fund
and the accessibility to get the foods are limited.
Firstly
, it is because there is poor or faulty channeling
of the Change the spelling
channelling
fund
between both countries
. Usually
there is a representative from the ruler or organisation that will receive Add a comma
Usually,
this
fund
or helps
in whatever form , before being passed to the Correct subject-verb agreement
help
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
needs helps
in order to survive. With many Correct subject-verb agreement
need help
people
involve
in betweenChange the form of the verb
involved
has caused
Verb problem
,
this
problem
of not receiving adequate
amount of support to stay alive . Add an article
an adequate
For example
, a well known
NGO Add a hyphen
well-known
that is
reponsible
Correct your spelling
responsible
to collect
Change preposition
for collecting
fund
to help Fix the agreement mistake
funds
people
in other country
has been investigated for corruption.
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
Moreover
, not all people
stay in one place that can get access in
the needs they want in life, some live in a place Change preposition
to
that is
rural and far from the city. This
Change the determiner
This person
These people
people
will not have a chance to get the needs they want because of limitation
to
In order to cope with Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
this
problem
, a bigger solution is needed between countries
so that the fund
or other basic necessities can be channeled
directly to the Change the spelling
channelled
people
in need. The organisation or representative need to be audited and the fund
going in and out need to be written and Fix the agreement mistake
funds
check
thoroughly because it involves a big sum of money . Next , the poor Wrong verb form
checked
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
ruler
need to prepare or think of a solution Fix the agreement mistake
rulers
that is
needed to cater everyone's
need to get access to Change preposition
to everyone's
the
Correct article usage
apply
fund
in Fix the agreement mistake
funds
much
more convenient way.
In conclusion, poor Correct article usage
a much
channeling
of the Change the spelling
channelling
fund
and the poor accessibilty
to it have caused Correct your spelling
accessibility
this
problem
and bigger solutions such
as account auditing of the organisations and improving the accessibility to it are
needed.Change the verb form
is
Submitted by fatin
on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas not flowing naturally from one to the next. Establish clear topic sentences and ensure that each paragraph is centered around a single idea, with clear transitions to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, they are underdeveloped and do not effectively establish and summarise the essay's argument. Aim to provide a clearer outline of the main points in the introduction and a succinct, reflective summary in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need more development and support. Include more detailed explanations and relevant examples to back up each point. Avoid generalisations and strive to provide specific information that clearly shows your understanding of the issue.
task achievement
While the essay attempts to address the task, the response is incomplete and the developments of ideas are limited. Ensure the prompt is fully addressed by discussing causes and solutions more comprehensively.
task achievement
Ideas presented are not entirely clear and comprehensive. Aim for clarity in expression and make sure your ideas are developed fully, with sufficient explanations and elaboration.
task achievement
There is a need for more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. This includes providing concrete evidence or detailed scenarios that directly relate to the causes and solutions of hunger in poor countries.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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