Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?
Because of
technology
, many men and women today interact with each other in new ways. This
essay will suggest that people
have more regular contact
,
and that the interaction has changed from physical to digital Remove the comma
apply
due to
technology
. I believe this
is a negative development because humans
need physical contact
as part of their interaction to stay healthy.
Technology
has made it possible for people
to have more regular contact
with each other through social media. This
is because smartphones have applications, like Facebook and WhatsApp, which are designed to make it easy to talk, write messages and send pictures to other people
. As a result
of this
, the interaction between humans
has also
changed from mainly physical to mostly digital. For example
, an average Swedish person interacts with 15 friends every day through social media but only have
physical Correct subject-verb agreement
has
contact
with two.
This
development must be seen as negative,
because physical meetings are needed for human health. It is important to meet other Remove the comma
apply
humans
in person,
because it creates an environment where Remove the comma
apply
people
can interact in a more complex way. This
is because all senses can be used, making it is
possible to touch, smell and hear things that would be impossible through an application. Unnecessary verb
apply
For example
, during the Corona-pandemic
, many Correct your spelling
coronavirus pandemic
people
work from home and Swedish doctors have noticed an increase in the number of patients with mental illness due to
the lack of physical contact
with friends and colleagues.
In conclusion, people
´s interactions have changed because of technology
and the relationships nowadays are more regular but less physical. I believe this
is a negative development because humans
need physical meetings to feel good.Submitted by binyang212 on
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task response
In terms of task response, your essay addresses the topic well but might benefit from a deeper exploration of both sides of the argument. You could improve by presenting a more balanced view of both the positive and negative impacts of technology on interpersonal relationships before reaching a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Regarding coherence and cohesion, your essay maintains a clear logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the essay would benefit from a wider variety of linking phrases to demonstrate more sophisticated cohesion. Ensure each body paragraph maintains a central focus and is linked clearly to your thesis.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite