Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

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Because of
technology
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, many men and women today interact with each other in new ways.
This
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essay will suggest that
people
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have more regular
contact
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,
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apply
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and that the interaction has changed from physical to digital
due to
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technology
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. I believe
this
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is a negative development because
humans
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need physical
contact
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as part of their interaction to stay healthy.
Technology
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has made it possible for
people
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to have more regular
contact
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with each other through social media.
This
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is because smartphones have applications, like Facebook and WhatsApp, which are designed to make it easy to talk, write messages and send pictures to other
people
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.
As a result
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of
this
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, the interaction between
humans
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has
also
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changed from mainly physical to mostly digital.
For example
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, an average Swedish person interacts with 15 friends every day through social media but only
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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physical
contact
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with two.
This
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development must be seen as negative
,
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apply
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because physical meetings are needed for human health. It is important to meet other
humans
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in person
,
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apply
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because it creates an environment where
people
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can interact in a more complex way.
This
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is because all senses can be used, making it
is
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apply
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possible to touch, smell and hear things that would be impossible through an application.
For example
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, during the
Corona-pandemic
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coronavirus pandemic
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, many
people
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work from home and Swedish doctors have noticed an increase in the number of patients with mental illness
due to
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the lack of physical
contact
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with friends and colleagues. In conclusion,
people
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´s interactions have changed because of
technology
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and the relationships nowadays are more regular but less physical. I believe
this
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is a negative development because
humans
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need physical meetings to feel good.
Submitted by binyang212 on

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task response
In terms of task response, your essay addresses the topic well but might benefit from a deeper exploration of both sides of the argument. You could improve by presenting a more balanced view of both the positive and negative impacts of technology on interpersonal relationships before reaching a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Regarding coherence and cohesion, your essay maintains a clear logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the essay would benefit from a wider variety of linking phrases to demonstrate more sophisticated cohesion. Ensure each body paragraph maintains a central focus and is linked clearly to your thesis.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
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