IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people think that it is more important to plant trees in open areas of town and cities than to build more housing . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #plant #trees #areas #town #cities
The plans display the site of an airport present and whether it will look after
development
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
next year.
Overall
, an airport
has been
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 wider than before
development
 which
is
Verb problem
means
show examples
 there are many
gates
 for people. A passenger in the future will
looking
Change the verb form
look
be looking
show examples
 for
sky
Correct article usage
a sky
show examples
 train, not
walkway
Correct article usage
a walkway
show examples
 anymore. There are many changes based on the maps. Now, only 8
gates
 for
passenger
Fix the agreement mistake
passengers
show examples
 to reach an airplane. But, in the future, there will be 18
gates
 after
development
, which
is
Verb problem
means
show examples
 it will be easier
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
. The
gates
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 divided
by
Change preposition
into
show examples
 two sides, and
each
Change preposition
on each
show examples
 side there will be 9
gates
. In the upfront, there will be an upgrade for departures and arrivals doors, and in
this
development
, there will be 2 doors
each
Change preposition
on each
show examples
 side, respectively. After we enter or leave the door, there will be many new places
such
 as bag drop, ATM, and car hire.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 new places
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not available before
development
. Shops
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been added in the future, so people can go shopping, which is
this
 area is not in there.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay does not address the given topic about the importance of planting trees versus building housing in cities. Instead, you've discussed the development of an airport, which is off-topic. To improve, ensure that your essay directly responds to the question by providing relevant arguments and examples related to the debate over urban greening and housing needs. You must make it clear that you understand the topic and provide a balanced view if you neither agree nor disagree, or else a strong position if you do.
coherence cohesion
The coherence and cohesion of your essay could be greatly improved. Your essay should have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a central idea, preferably stated in a topic sentence, and the following sentences should elaborate on that idea. Logical connectors should be used to show the relationship between ideas, and there should be clear progression from one idea to the next. Work on developing your paragraphs and structuring your essay more clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!