In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Recently, there have been many countries with a lot of
highly
qualities Change the adverb
high
graduates
who do not have jobs. There are several reasons, mainly it are
not workplaces Change the verb form
is
which
suitable for their major and low wages. I wholeheartedly believe, the Correct pronoun usage
apply
government
should make regulation payments and provide training.
Nowadays, the number of high graduates
is getting higher each year. As a
result
the amount of Add a comma
result,
job
markets will be unlimited. While
there are many companies that give specific requirements with good qaulities
it is sometimes contrary to worker criteria Correct your spelling
qualities
such
as age, appearance, job
experience, and fresh graduates
. For example
, People
working in the Bank must be good-looking and musthave
Correct your spelling
must have
must-have
atall
body. Correct your spelling
tall
Thus
, industries should change their management requirements in certain jobs to support workers.
Furthermore
, the next reason is salary problems. Money is one of the primary reasons has main
issue why many Change the article
the main
people
who have freshly graduated tend to look for a job
based on payment. They do not want to take a job
with a low salary. However
, they will struggle to find a job
, and as a result
, they become jobless and it might be a social issue for the government
. For instance
, People
who work in rural areas as teachers and medical services lazy do their duty and rarely come to offices or school.
To solve this
, the government
should give serious attention and provide more workplaces for the unemployed by training them to improve their skills and making regulations about wages. In addition
, as
young generations should be creative and become Correct word choice
apply
intreprenuer
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
entrepreneur
to
offering to support the Change preposition
in
government
to empowering
society.
In conclusion, more and more Wrong verb form
empower
graduates
without a job
has increased. Unlimited workplaces and wages become the main cause. It can be solved by providing training skills to support people
to pursue their dream job
and be independent as entrepreneurs as a young generation to provide jobs to others and decrease jobless
.Replace the word
joblessness
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a cohesive and logical structure, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. Try to organize your thoughts more clearly and use linking devices to connect your ideas effectively.
coherence cohesion
Present your introduction and conclusion more clearly. Both sections need to outline the topic and summarize the main points made within the body of the essay. Aim for a more impactful opening and closing statement.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with more detailed support, using concrete examples and explanations. This will make your essay more convincing and will demonstrate a broader range of language.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task by providing a well-rounded discussion on the causes and possible solutions to the issue of graduate unemployment. Expand on your ideas and give equal treatment to both perspectives.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas by exploring them more comprehensively. Avoid superficial analysis and strive to delve deeper into the reasons and proposed solutions to the issue at hand, providing more nuanced and developed arguments.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples from your knowledge or experience to underline your points. This will not only strengthen your argument but also show the ability to apply theoretical understanding to real-world contexts.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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