IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that the government should provide free education at every level. However, some say that individuals should pay for their university education.

#people #government #education #level #say #individuals #university
Some people
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
societies
Fix the agreement mistake
society
show examples
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that every person
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to fund their college
education
nonetheless
 some say that the
government
 should not charge
cost
Add an article
a cost
the cost
show examples
 for every
degree
this
 essay will be discussed and I want to give my point of view that either every
degree
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 university should be free To commence,
this
 statement will examine how
this
 issue affects
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 of
society
 especially for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 are graduated from their
education
 to college level, nowadays the reality that we are facing is the price of studying is too expensive,
therefore
 I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that is
 not good for us because everyone has the opportunity to get
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
education
.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 we find a potential student in senior
Correct your spelling
high school
highschool
highshool
Correct your spelling
high
 but he can not continue his college because of financial
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and
that is
 something very unfortunate And for the second statement which
talk
Change the verb form
talks
show examples
 about the
government
 should not change
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 for every
degree
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I totally agree because
education
 has
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 essential role for a country,
education
 will develop
society
 and the
government
 has a responsibility to give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 a good
education
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 if the
government
 is irresponsible for
society
's
education
 and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 a cost for every level of
education
, it will affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many people do not want to go to school and that will demolish the
education
 circumstances especially and
society
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
generally
To sum up
, I completely
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that free
education
 is
responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsibility
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
government
 for every
degree
 from elementary school to university and that will
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
 a good result for
education
 circumstances especially and develop
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
society
 generally
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
You should ensure that your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your position. Each body paragraph should contain a single main idea with explanations and examples that support it. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position.
Task Achievement
It's important to fully respond to the task by addressing all parts of the prompt. Develop your argument comprehensively by using clear and well-developed ideas with relevant, specific examples. Avoid general statements and seek to specifically address the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: