IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There is a good deal of evidence that increasing car use is contributing to global warming, and having other undesirable effects on people’s health and well-being. What can be done to discourage people from using their cars? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#evidence #car #effects #people’s #health #people #cars
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Nowadays, the use of
cars
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 is increasing day by day globally which contributes to global warming and
it
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is affecting
to
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human
healths
Fix the agreement mistake
health
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 too . In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain my views on how we can discourage
people
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 from using their
cars
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 by taking some examples from the Newspaper and Journal.
To begin
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 with , As
a
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technology has taken a good place in
human
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the human
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 life world , it seems like without technology life is incomplete . So
instead
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 of using crude oil car's young generation should stick to Electric
cars
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 because electric
cars
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 will not generate much smoke as compared to gasoline and petrol-based
cars
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.
Secondly
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 , the
Government
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 should increase the facilities in public transport like buses , trains etc so that
people
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 can easily commute from one place to another.
Moreover
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 , the
Government
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 should charge taxes on those
people
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 who have more than two
cars
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 .
Therefore
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 ,
People
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 will avoid travelling in
cars
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 until or unless any contingency is there.
In addition
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 , during office hours big vehicles like trucks should be banned from entering
in
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the city.
Moreover
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 , the
Government
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 or an NGO should start a campaign to encourage
people
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 , to travel on bicycles
in
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locally has numerous benefits for their health . In Conclusion , Each individual has to take
the
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responsibility
along with
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 the
government
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 to save our planet and
people
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's health and well-being. So it would be beneficial for all human beings to get rid of
the
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global warming and good health for our future generations.
Submitted by preetiaug25 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the problem and outlines the solutions to be discussed. The content of the essay should be structured in logical paragraphs, each devoted to a single main idea with appropriate supporting sentences.
task achievement
The essay must completely address all parts of the task, presenting a clear opinion and supporting it with relevant examples. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points and restate the writer's position, ensuring a clear stance is taken on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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