Some people believe that time spent on electronic games can be valuable for children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The communities state that
gadget
Use synonyms
usage
by young Use synonyms
people
will impact their future when facing advanced technology. But some others explain Use synonyms
that is
a bad Linking Words
situation
for kids if they depend on Use synonyms
gadget
Use synonyms
usage
. In my opinion, I believe that the parent will protect their family from Use synonyms
gadget
Use synonyms
usage
illness. I will discuss some reasons why Use synonyms
people
must protect themselves from the bad habit of using the Use synonyms
gadget
.
I start with the lack of conditions on psychology the person has devoted Use synonyms
time
to the phone. Use synonyms
This
Linking Words
situation
puts the consumer in their comfort zone, and they feel that they do not need other Use synonyms
people
to communicate. In the long Use synonyms
situation
, Use synonyms
this
condition will make that Linking Words
people
be Use synonyms
introvet
. Correct your spelling
introverted
For example
, a kid with his/her Linking Words
gadget
playing in the room but their friend playing too without a Use synonyms
gadget
. Use synonyms
This
Linking Words
situation
shows that the kid with a Use synonyms
gadget
does not want to follow their friend together.
Use synonyms
Next,
I will discuss how Linking Words
gadget
Use synonyms
usage
correlates with our health indirectly. The person who devotes much Use synonyms
time
to gadgets will have less movement. Use synonyms
For instance
, They play with gadgets rather than do exercise. Linking Words
This
condition will improve the risk be obesity in young period. Linking Words
This
old needs a rich movement to increase their bond density and muscular mass. In fact, the younger ones only stay in their room and do not have any movement, just lying in bed for a long Linking Words
time
.
In conclusion, a child who devotes Use synonyms
time
to the Use synonyms
gadget
harms psychologically and biologically.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and balanced structure. The introduction does not effectively set the context for the discussion of both views. Aim to present a more focused topic sentence which clearly outlines the two differing views on the impact of electronic games on children. The conclusion should succinctly summarize these points while also reinforcing your own stance.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, connect your ideas more effectively. This includes using transitional words and phrases to link sentences and ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea in a logical sequence. Avoid presenting new, unrelated ideas within the same paragraph.
task achievement
To address task achievement, ensure you discuss both views on the issue, providing clear and specific examples for each point of view. Your opinion should be explicit and well-integrated into the discussion. Back up your points with relevant, in-depth examples, and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic by covering all the required aspects of the task.
task achievement
Refine your response to present your ideas more comprehensively. You need to fully develop your arguments and present a more nuanced treatment of the topic. Both sides of the argument should be considered equally and their corresponding implications or examples should be adequately explored.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite