Some countries encourage foreign companies to open in their country. Many people think the government should focus on encouraging local business rather than foreign businesses. To what extent do you agree?
some countries
enhace
foreign companies conducting Correct your spelling
enhance
business
in their country
. most people argue that government
should Correct article usage
the government
consentrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
to encourage
local Change preposition
on encouraging
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
than
foreign businesses. Rephrase
rather than
in
Capitalize word
In
this
essay I would like to state that I agree with the statement because it cause
Verb problem
apply
improve
local Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
income
and improve
human Verb problem
apply
resource
in the Fix the agreement mistake
resources
country
.
limitting
foreign Correct your spelling
Limiting
business
can increase local income
. the
Capitalize word
The
local
can sell any Fix the agreement mistake
locals
product
freely without any doubt that they will be interupt
by foreign. for Correct your spelling
interrupted
intance
, many Correct your spelling
instance
product
have been Change to a plural noun
products
involving
Wrong verb form
involved
to
Change preposition
in
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
country
like China's product
. when Fix the agreement mistake
products
in
goes massively, it can make local Correct your spelling
it
business
failure
. if it happened the Replace the word
fail
country
would not be independenced
anymore.
as we know Correct your spelling
independent
independence
that
Correct word choice
apply
income
become the most crucial in many countries because it is a key indicator that people can life a
live Correct article usage
apply
with
good Change preposition
in
condition
. By getting Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
good
Correct article usage
a good
income
people can buy everything what
they want, Change the word
that
such
as buying a house, sending their children to good
school, Add an article
a good
completing
all Correct word choice
and completing
Correct article usage
the product
product
that they need. Fix the agreement mistake
products
tighting
foreignCorrect your spelling
tightening
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The response does provide an answer to the task and offers a clear opinion, but the argument lacks development, and the essay does not explore the extent of agreement fully. Consider expanding on your ideas by presenting more detailed arguments and examining both perspectives before arriving at a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the essay lacks clear transitions and connective phrases. Moreover, the organization of ideas could be improved. For a higher score, present ideas in a more structured manner with clear introductory sentences for each paragraph, and use a wider range of cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs together.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.