IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some countries encourage foreign companies to open in their country. Many people think the government should focus on encouraging local business rather than foreign businesses. To what extent do you agree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
some countries
enhace
Correct your spelling
enhance
 foreign companies conducting
business
Use synonyms
 in their
country
Use synonyms
. most people argue that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should
consentrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
to encourage
Change preposition
on encouraging
show examples
 local
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 foreign businesses.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay I would like to state that I agree with the statement because it
cause
Verb problem
apply
show examples
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 local
income
Use synonyms
 and
improve
Verb problem
apply
show examples
human
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
 in the
country
Use synonyms
.
Body
limitting
Correct your spelling
Limiting
 foreign
business
Use synonyms
 can increase local
income
Use synonyms
.
the
Capitalize word
The
show examples
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
 can sell any
product
Use synonyms
 freely without any doubt that they will be
interupt
Correct your spelling
interrupted
 by foreign. for
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, many
Use synonyms
product
Change to a plural noun
products
show examples
 have been
involving
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 like China's
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. when
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 goes massively, it can make local
business
Use synonyms
failure
Replace the word
fail
show examples
. if it happened the
country
Use synonyms
 would not be
independenced
Correct your spelling
independent
independence
 anymore.
Conclusion
as we know
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 become the most crucial in many countries because it is a key indicator that people can life
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
live
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 good
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. By getting
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 people can buy everything
what
Change the word
that
show examples
 they want,
such
Linking Words
 as buying a house, sending their children to
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 school,
completing
Correct word choice
and completing
show examples
 all
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 that they need.
tighting
Correct your spelling
tightening
 foreign

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The response does provide an answer to the task and offers a clear opinion, but the argument lacks development, and the essay does not explore the extent of agreement fully. Consider expanding on your ideas by presenting more detailed arguments and examining both perspectives before arriving at a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the essay lacks clear transitions and connective phrases. Moreover, the organization of ideas could be improved. For a higher score, present ideas in a more structured manner with clear introductory sentences for each paragraph, and use a wider range of cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs together.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • foreign companies
  • local business
  • government policies
  • investment
  • job opportunities
  • economic growth
  • sustainability
  • balance
  • attract
  • challenge
  • compete
  • large corporations
  • national identity
  • cultural heritage
  • technology
  • expertise
  • incentives
  • support
  • community
  • social cohesion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: