IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some countries encourage foreign companies to open in their country. Many people think the government should focus on encouraging local business rather than foreign businesses. To what extent do you agree?

#countries #companies #country #people #government #focus #business #businesses
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some countries
enhace
Correct your spelling
enhance
 foreign companies conducting
business
Use synonyms
 in their
country
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. most people argue that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should
consentrate
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concentrate
to encourage
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on encouraging
show examples
 local
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 foreign businesses.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay I would like to state that I agree with the statement because it
cause
Verb problem
apply
show examples
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 local
income
Use synonyms
 and
improve
Verb problem
apply
show examples
human
resource
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resources
show examples
 in the
country
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.
limitting
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Limiting
 foreign
business
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 can increase local
income
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.
the
Capitalize word
The
show examples
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
 can sell any
product
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 freely without any doubt that they will be
interupt
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interrupted
 by foreign. for
intance
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instance
, many
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product
Change to a plural noun
products
show examples
 have been
involving
Wrong verb form
involved
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to
Change preposition
in
show examples
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
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 like China's
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. when
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 goes massively, it can make local
business
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failure
Replace the word
fail
show examples
. if it happened the
country
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 would not be
independenced
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independent
independence
 anymore. as we know
that
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apply
show examples
income
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 become the most crucial in many countries because it is a key indicator that people can life
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
live
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 good
condition
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conditions
show examples
. By getting
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 people can buy everything
what
Change the word
that
show examples
 they want,
such
Linking Words
 as buying a house, sending their children to
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 school,
completing
Correct word choice
and completing
show examples
 all
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 that they need.
tighting
Correct your spelling
tightening
 foreign
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
The response does provide an answer to the task and offers a clear opinion, but the argument lacks development, and the essay does not explore the extent of agreement fully. Consider expanding on your ideas by presenting more detailed arguments and examining both perspectives before arriving at a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the essay lacks clear transitions and connective phrases. Moreover, the organization of ideas could be improved. For a higher score, present ideas in a more structured manner with clear introductory sentences for each paragraph, and use a wider range of cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs together.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • foreign companies
  • local business
  • government policies
  • investment
  • job opportunities
  • economic growth
  • sustainability
  • balance
  • attract
  • challenge
  • compete
  • large corporations
  • national identity
  • cultural heritage
  • technology
  • expertise
  • incentives
  • support
  • community
  • social cohesion
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