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Band 2.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Some
induviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 claim, that
unpleasant
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an unpleasant
show examples
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
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 or lack of salary should be accepted,
while
 others suggest
to accomplish
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accomplishing
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
such
 problems. From my perspective, even if acceptance is not
disturbing
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a disturbing
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 comfort zone,it will not give a chance to make achievements in
life
 and improve
well being
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well-being
show examples
.  On the one hand,every problem appearing in our daily
life
 might have
frustrating
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a frustrating
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 effect on mental health. Tackling
with
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apply
show examples
hardship is always challenging and may provoke stress.
For example
,stressful conditions are triggering
ilnesses
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illnesses
 like depression,diabetes or neurosis.
Moreover
,
psychological
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a psychological
the psychological
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 system of every
induvidual
Correct your spelling
individual
 is different and some of them are not able to overcome failure.
That is
 why hoping for better days to come and getting accustomed might be a good solution for
calm
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a calm
show examples
 lifestyle.
On the contrary
,
stiving
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striving
show examples
 to boost difficulties is beneficial for career and
self satisfaction
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self-satisfaction
show examples
.  Attempts for
imroving
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improving
 bad times
develope
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develop
such
 crucial skills as self-reliance, leadership and empowerment,which are beneficial to be competitive with others.
In addition
,finding well paid job could broaden horizons and
opens
Wrong verb form
open
show examples
perspectives for
life
.
For instance
,gaining more provides opportunities for family members as well,by
guaranting
Correct your spelling
guaranteeing
 qualified education and
pleasent
Correct your spelling
pleasant
 conditions. In conclusion,
althought
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although
 acceptance is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 solution for some situations,I strongly believe that attempts to tackle hardships can refine
life
 quality.
Furthermore
,it gives
self satisfaction
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self-satisfaction
show examples
 and makes your self proud,as
life
 is given only once,we have to do maximum to achieve
pleasent
Correct your spelling
pleasant
life
.
Submitted by lazizaa0799 on

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language
Ensure consistent use of language, particularly the correct forms of words and phrases (e.g., 'striving' instead of 'stiving', 'individual' instead of 'induvidual').
development
Develop paragraphs fully to support each point with clear explanations and relevant examples.
organization
Work on structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss each viewpoint, and a conclusion that summarizes and states your own opinion.
cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and vary sentence structures to improve the flow of your essay.
clarity
Ensure clear expression of ideas and arguments without unnecessary repetition or ambiguity.
accuracy
Avoid spelling and grammar errors to maintain the quality and clarity of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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