Some think that teenagers should follow older people's rules. Others think that it is natural for them to challenge what older people say. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the modern era, there have been some
arguements
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arguments
whether
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about whether
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younger members of
society
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should obey the
rules
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their families adopt or challenge them. I think
chellenging
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challenging
those
rules
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would benefit the
teenagers
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a
lot
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. But they shouldn't do it a
lot
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and I'm going to explain why in the rest of
this
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essay. On one hand, some
people
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believe a small fraction of challenging spirit can help
teenagers
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to enhance their skills and hone their knowledge.
Firstly
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, some
rules
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just limit
youth
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from discovering new things and curiosity is at its highest range in the
youth
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.
Therefore
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, they sometimes break the
rules
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and parents should take it easy to let their children grow.
Secondly
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, the most efficient way for
people
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to learn a new thing is to experience it and
teenagers
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are no exception. So, they can learn from their mistakes and not repeat them.
Thirdly
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, technology and
society
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grow far faster than before and some older
people
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consider the community as it was in their own
youth
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.
Thus
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, their regulations may seem boring to new generations and make it harder for young members of
society
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to adapt to the new environments afterwards.
For example
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, the average age in Italy is so high and there is a huge difference between the ages of children and their parents.
Accordingly
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, boring laws make most of these young
people
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depressed which is one of the most dangerous disorders.
On the other hand
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,
teenagers
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need to be cared
by
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for by
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their families that have more knowledge and experience. Every mother and father have passed the
youth
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period and are familiar with its crises and problems.
Therefore
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, with their help, their kids can be safe from a large array of dangers that threaten them. Particularly nowadays,
this
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care is more crucial. Because
with
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of
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the progress of technology and the internet, there are more ways for villains to trick vulnerable
teenagers
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. In 2021,
for example
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, there was an app called "Blue Whale" that tricked a
lot
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of
teenagers
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to
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into
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suicide and unfortunately, a
lot
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of children whose
their
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apply
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families didn't take care of them
,
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apply
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lost their lives.
To conclude
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, older
people
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of
society
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shouldn't adopt stringent laws for
teenagers
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to restrict their skills and emotional intelligence. Meanwhile, they should be highly cared
to
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for to
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be safe from criminals.
Submitted by yasinkooshki13866 on

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coherence cohesion
Despite a visible attempt to organize ideas, the logical structure of the essay is not consistently clear due to some disconnected ideas and lack of clear paragraphing. To improve, pay attention to organizing ideas into clear and logical paragraphs that support the central point of each section.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which is positive. However, the introduction could be enhanced by stating the topic more clearly, outlining the main points, and indicating your opinion in a more structured manner. The conclusion does a satisfactory job summing up the arguments but could be strengthened by more explicitly restating the opinion given in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are somewhat supported, but the support provided is insufficiently developed. To enhance this, it is important to expand on points with specific details, making connections to the thesis clearer and ensuring that each point directly relates back to answering the essay question. Include illustrations or examples to substantiate each main point.
task achievement
Your response indicates some understanding of the task. However, it includes irrelevant details and does not fully address all parts of the task. Ensure that you fully respond to all parts of the prompt and stay focused on the topic. Remove any content that does not directly relate to the prompt.
task achievement
The clear and comprehensive presentation of ideas is currently at a basic level. Improvement can be achieved by developing ideas more thoroughly, structuring them more clearly, and articulating them in a more sophisticated manner. Aim to use a wider range of grammatical constructions and vocabulary to convey your points more effectively.
task achievement
The use of examples is at a satisfactory level, but to raise the score, strive to integrate more detailed and directly relevant examples to the argument you are making. This will not only illustrate your points better but will also showcase your ability to relate theory to real-world situations.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traditions
  • Elders
  • Authority
  • Innovative
  • Exploration
  • Adaptation
  • Critical thinking
  • Upholding values
  • Questioning norms
  • Independence
  • Dialogue
  • Informed decisions
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