Some people say part time jobs are useful for full time students because they not only earn money but also gain career experience Do you agree or disagree?
We live in an age when many of us claim that
students
who work
as a
Correct article usage
apply
part-timer
Fix the agreement mistake
part-timers
is beneficial
Wrong verb form
benefit
due to
the experience they got
or the money earned. From my point of view, I could not agree more with Wrong verb form
get
this
statement. I believe there are a bunch of opportunities out there to gain students
' capability to face the
full-time careers in the future. I oppose the view and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
First and foremost, there is no denying that teenagers nowadays have a job in order to get the benefits from the job. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, the salary which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
paid
daily or weekly or even monthly, and life lessons, in Add a missing verb
is paid
this
case, without our considerations
why young people do Replace the word
considering
this
is because
to minimize the financial burden on Correct word choice
apply
students
' families. Also
, to strengthen self independence
Add a hyphen
self-independence
since
Change preposition
from
the
young age. Correct article usage
a
Moreover
, part-time employment teaches students
valuable life skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
such
as time management, responsibility, and teamwork. By
Change preposition
This
this
incident, it
slowly attaches the behaviours to Correct pronoun usage
apply
pupils
Change noun form
pupils'
pupil's
mind
and keeps being disciplined.
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
Furthermore
, balancing work
and study may lead to improved organizational skills and better prepared
for post-graduation Replace the word
preparation
work
. In addition
, pupils would be more prepared to have real full-time jobs. It is worth noting that through part-time work
, scholars can gain career-related experiences that enhance their resumes or CVs and make them more competitive in the job market so this
will be easier to get one.
To draw the conclusion, have
a Wrong verb form
having
half time
career at a young age Add a hyphen
half-time
while
studying at the same moment give
tons of Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
values
to life. What is more, it Fix the agreement mistake
value
also
trains scholars to be more capable to have
advanced occupations.Change preposition
of having
Submitted by syifensaft
on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be logically connected to others.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points more fully with detailed explanations and relevant examples. Avoid repeating the same ideas and ensure that each paragraph builds upon the last to create a cohesive argument.
task achievement
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coherence cohesion
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
