Video records are better to learn about the way other people in the world lives than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Human
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
now living in the 4.0 era which
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
technology become their
foundations
Fix the agreement mistake
foundation
show examples
in
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
. As the world is evolving, the education system
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
some
refreshement
Correct your spelling
refreshment
like upgrading the method from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paper-based
materials
Use synonyms
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
moving
pictures
Change the noun form
picture
show examples
materials
Use synonyms
which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
video
Use synonyms
record
Fix the agreement mistake
records
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
is why the implementation
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
watching clips to gain knowledge is more beneficial, especially in learning about the way global
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
live around the world. First and foremost,
video
Use synonyms
records
shown
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
the real
footages
Fix the agreement mistake
footage
show examples
of
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
that
happenned
Correct your spelling
happened
in real life.
This
Linking Words
is because the clips are taken by a camera roll and recorded directly to the community. It is crucial to learn about the real event especially if we learn about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global issues and the people in
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, the learner will gain more knowledge as they will see the real practices and don't need to imagine any single thing.
Moreveor
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
video
Use synonyms
record
materials
Use synonyms
are mostly more engaging and intriguing to learn rather than learning by reading
Correct article usage
the alphabets
show examples
alphabets
Fix the agreement mistake
alphabet
show examples
on documents. Education
materials
Use synonyms
that are offered in booklets are usually bland and hard to read,
in contrast
Linking Words
with the
video
Use synonyms
where it has graphic and even background noise that will bait people's attention.
Thus
Linking Words
,
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
show examples
tend to have more motivation to
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
. More than that, printed paper is no longer necessary as people already
move
Wrong verb form
moved
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
digital usage.
This
Linking Words
is
also
Linking Words
implemented for education
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
, where they can just
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
bring
device
Correct article usage
a device
show examples
that holds like an encyclopedia
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anywhere
instead
Linking Words
of getting scoliosis for bringing too many books
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their backs. \ In conclusion, learning by watching
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
more advantages rather than gaining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information through the
modul
Correct your spelling
module
model
. Not only educating the learner
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
video
Use synonyms
records are
also
Linking Words
more
relieble
Correct your spelling
reliable
and trustworthy.
Submitted by writingielts0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay includes a clear introduction that establishes your viewpoint, followed by body paragraphs that each discuss a separate point with supporting details, and a coherent conclusion that effectively summarises your argument.
task achievement
Develop your main ideas further. Provide more detailed examples and explanations to more accurately demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on reducing grammatical errors and enhancing sentence structure for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs, creating a natural flow of ideas throughout your essay.
task achievement
Make sure to address the task directly without getting sidetracked. Every part of your essay should be focused on answering the question posed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: