IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Write about the following topic: Should humans adjust to technology or should technology be adjusted to us? Is technology making us intellectually weaker or more intelligent? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #humans #technology
Technology
use
 has
changing
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 how people interact with it.
human
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
show examples
 should master the
use
 of
technology
 so they will not be
dependant
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 towards gadgets all the time in order to
consciusly
Correct your spelling
consciously
 handle it. In that way,
technology
 improves the human intelligence. First of all, the development of
technology
 is undeniable and inevitable because it is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
part of how modern improvement evolved. It is important for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 to know the basic skills of handling
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 essential
use
.
However
, dependently using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
 has challenged
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 to be alienated
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
real
Correct article usage
the real
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 apart of it and it can be harmful to their survival condition.
For example
, teenagers
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 their own
handpone
Correct your spelling
handphone
 to connect with their friends but if they constantly
use
 it without consciousness, they will forget their school assignments or escape their tasks just to be entertained.
However
, if young students
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 their gadgets to improve more knowledge and learning sessions
then
 they will inevitably become more intelligent
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 awareness. They had to pass several technological challenges to accept the improvement of
electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
use
 and they will
use
 their understanding to innovate more achievements for the future.
For instance
, boys who
enjoyed
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
 programming for
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 will know how to make another application for their own
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
 or for public needs.
Thus
, understanding the
technology
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 them to be a better person. In conclusion, adjusting to the
technology
 innovation benefits people to
use
 it as it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
 part of society. As long as it
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part of modern improvement and not for escaping
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
basic needs,
technology
 will not contribute
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
dependant
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 population for maximizing it.
In other words
, understanding
technology
 with more awareness will be more beneficial for any generation
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 for intellectual tools.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task response
Make sure your essay presents a clear stance in the introduction and remains consistent throughout.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to improve the flow of your essay.
task response
Provide more detailed examples to support your points, ensuring they are specifically relevant to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Consider dividing your essay into clear paragraphs with one central idea each to enhance readability.
language
Be attentive to verb tenses and maintain consistency unless shifts in time are necessary.
coherence and cohesion
For better coherence, use a variety of complex structures and sentence types to demonstrate language flexibility.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • balance between technology and human needs
  • user-friendly technological advancements
  • augment human intelligence
  • vast information
  • problem-solving abilities
  • fostering innovation and creativity
  • overly reliant on technology
  • decrease in critical thinking skills
  • cognitive abilities
  • AI in data analysis
  • educational tools
  • learning outcomes
  • technological advancements
  • printing press
  • societal progress
What to do next:
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