The diagram shows how apple is canned. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant. Write at elast 150 words

The diagram shows how apple is canned.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

Write at elast 150 words
The given diagram depicts how the fresh
apples
are processed until they become
became
Verb problem
apply
show examples
canned
apples
. By and large, there are two main
stages
of apple canning production including fresh transportation and sorting and the canning
process
. As seen from the first main
stages
, fresh
apples
will be picked and collected from the trees and transported to the production house. Before continuing to the next
process
, all the
apples
will be washed first to minimize the contamination from the
hand picking
Add a hyphen
hand-picking
show examples
and transportation
process
. The cleaned
apples
will be shorted again to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good quality. After that, the next processes are cold-storing and weighing
apples
. Turning to the second main
stages
Fix the agreement mistake
stage
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
apple canning production, after weighing,
apples
will be peeled and sliced
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
small shapes
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
put in the cleaning cans. Afterwards, the cans that had
apples
inside will be sealed and continued to the sterilization
process
again with boiling
stages
to reduce
bacterias
Fix the agreement mistake
bacteria
show examples
and viruses infection.
Finally
the ready canned
apples
will be processed
further
to the
labeling
Change the spelling
labelling
show examples
process
and collection
process
to the storage room before sending to the customers.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words apples, stages, process with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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