IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts illustrate information related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 in diverse fields and their
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 radiation in an average Australian household.
According to
Linking Words
 the given data, the most
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption belongs to the heating field (42%), and after
that
Add a comma
that,
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this
Linking Words
 household uses the
energy
Use synonyms
 to heat water a lot (30%). Other sectors, appliances, refrigeration, lighting, and cooling are in the high rank of
energy
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 respectively (15%, 7%, 4%, 2%).
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we are witnessing that the
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions
due to
Linking Words
 heating is 15%.
This
Linking Words
 amount is less than the high consumption amount of it. The remaining
energy
Use synonyms
 is consumed in other fields
such
Linking Words
 as water heating, other appliances, refrigeration, lighting, and cooling respectively (32%, 28%, 14%, 8%, 3%).
Overall
Linking Words
, the Australian household uses the most
energy
Use synonyms
 to heat.
However
Linking Words
, the
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 discharge
due to
Linking Words
 using it is less compared to the high consumption of it dramatically. Other fields produce more
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 the
energy
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 by them is less than the
usage
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
 to heat.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, usage, greenhouse, gas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average Australian household
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Energy consumption
  • Activities
  • Heating
  • Cooling
  • Water heating
  • Appliances
  • Lighting
  • Standby
  • Percentage (%)
  • Consumption patterns
  • Efficiency
  • Emissions impact
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy-saving measures
  • Sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Electricity
  • Natural gas
  • Emissions breakdown
  • Energy audit
  • Environmental impact
  • Conservation
  • Mitigation strategies
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