Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children

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Nowadays, there is an ongoing notion that students at high school should do free community service for the government as a part of the curriculum. These services include working for a charity, teaching sports to younger children etc.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I fully disagree with

this

Linking Words

belief and will present its possible disadvantages. With the free usage of young labour by the government, there will arise a

problem

Use synonyms

when many

jobs

Use synonyms

lose their value,

such

Linking Words

jobs

Use synonyms

as coaches, teachers etc, because these positions will be covered by unpaid labour and

this

Linking Words

will eventually make these

jobs

Use synonyms

lose their market value.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is

also

Linking Words

important to consider that these so-called workers would not be motivated under these circumstances if their work was undervalued.

For example

Linking Words

, in the Soviet Union, various obligatory services forced the youth to work under dismal conditions without pay.

Hence

Linking Words

, many teenagers preferred to avoid

such

Linking Words

jobs

Use synonyms

by various means,

afterwards

Add a comma

afterwards,

show examples

the national committee resolved

this

Linking Words

problem

Use synonyms

with the closure of the programme.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the implementation of

such

Linking Words

programme

Correct article usage

a programme

show examples

will be a headache for scholars owing to the fact that many people feel

pressurised

Verb problem

pressured

show examples

in high school by exams and the transition to full-time work.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

measure will only aggravate the existing

problem

Use synonyms

by putting unnecessary responsibility on their shoulders.

In other words

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will not alleviate the existing

problem

Use synonyms

, as

the

Correct article usage

show examples

consequence of

such

Linking Words

measures, it will only create new problems that will emerge eventually in the long term. In conclusion, considering all the previously mentioned information, it would be reasonable to say that

such

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measures will only aggravate pre-existing

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

Submitted by dnm.best on Sat Jan 06 2024

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structure

Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure by including an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and progress logically.

cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph within the body of the essay focuses on a single point or argument that supports your overall position. Use linking words to create coherence and clearly indicate the relationship between ideas.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction should clearly state your opinion on the topic. The conclusion should summarise the main points and reiterate your view without introducing new information.

task response

Providing specific examples to support your points is important. Try to use real-world evidence or hypothetical scenarios that directly relate to your arguments to illustrate your points better.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
high school programmes
unpaid community service
charity
improving the neighbourhood
teaching sports
sense of responsibility
empathy
broader perspective
societal issues
college applications
job applications
positive impact

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

People have differing views with regard to the question of how to make our roads safer. In my view, both punishments and a range of other measures can be used together to promote better driving habits.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a difference. What extent do you agree or disagree?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world?