IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes in billion of telephone calls in the UK divided three categories from 1995 from 2002.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes in billion of telephone calls in the UK divided three categories from 1995 from 2002.
#minutes #billion #telephone #uk #three #categories
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The table shows the number of minutes
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consumed by customers in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 by three types of telephone calls from 1995 to 2002. All minutes are
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 in billions.
Overall
Linking Words
, Local - fixed
line
Use synonyms
 calls were higher than the other two types
while
Linking Words
 calls from mobiles were the lowest category
according to
Linking Words
 the given
time
Use synonyms
 period.
Duration
Correct article usage
The duration
show examples
 of local-fixed
line
Use synonyms
 calls in 1995 was approximately 71
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 which
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as in 2002. local-fixed
line
Use synonyms
 calling
time
Use synonyms
 had risen to
peak
Add an article
the peak
a peak
show examples
 of 90
billion
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 duration had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fallen to about 71
billion
Use synonyms
. With regards to the national and international-fixed
line
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
,which was the second largest category, recorded just under 40
billion
Use synonyms
 at the beginning of the period and which had been increasing until
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period reached to just over 60
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, when it came to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobiles, people consumed 1
billion
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
time
Change to a plural noun
times
show examples
 in 1995 which
also
Linking Words
noticeable
Change the word
noticeably
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
increased slightly until 1999.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to the increase, After 1999, It started to rise dramatically
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its peak at over 40
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2002.
Submitted by Praslah on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words line, time, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Telecommunications
  • Long-distance calls
  • Local calls
  • International calls
  • Duration
  • Fluctuation
  • Incline/Decline
  • Significant
  • Trend
  • Statistical data
  • Billion
  • Minutes
  • Graph/chart interpretation
  • Incremental growth
  • Stabilize
  • Peak
  • Dip
  • Plummet
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