Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, spending too much
time
on Use synonyms
smartphones
some Use synonyms
children
can cause concerns for their parents. Use synonyms
Overall
, the variety of attractive Linking Words
media
in social Use synonyms
media
and many online Use synonyms
classes
caused some Use synonyms
children
to spend hours on their Use synonyms
smartphones
. In my view, it is a negative aspect which can affect the Use synonyms
children
's goals and bring some health problems for them.
Use synonyms
Initially
, social Linking Words
media
have lots of attractive things which encourage some Use synonyms
children
to use it. Use synonyms
children
usually love fun and happy Use synonyms
media
owing to the use of some apps on their Use synonyms
smartphones
. Use synonyms
For instance
, Instagram Linking Words
have
an item called "Explore". Change the verb form
has
This
item usually brings a Linking Words
lot
of stunning and attractive Use synonyms
media
for Use synonyms
children
. they don't want to put down their smartphone anymore and prefer to spend a Use synonyms
lot
of Use synonyms
time
on the item. Use synonyms
Further
, occasionally teachers would rather start their Linking Words
classes
on online Use synonyms
platformes
and Correct your spelling
platforms
children
must attend their Use synonyms
classes
which usually take a long Use synonyms
such
as starting Linking Words
classes
during the coronavirus.
Use synonyms
According to
point of my view, Linking Words
this
situation is a negative aspect for Linking Words
children
because spending a long Use synonyms
time
on online platforms, Use synonyms
not
only Add a missing verb
is not
brings
overbearing for Verb problem
apply
children
but Use synonyms
also
can cause some health problems for them. Linking Words
For example
, it can impact Linking Words
children
's eyes because human eyes are sensitive, and Use synonyms
then
they will gradually weaken,so their parents must pay a Linking Words
lot
of money to buy glasses. Use synonyms
In addition
, there are some action films which are really aggressive, over-effecting, and harmful. Linking Words
children
usually watch them on their Use synonyms
smartphones
, and Use synonyms
then
it can influence their behaviour and their morality.
Linking Words
To sum up
, some attractive Linking Words
media
and a Use synonyms
lot
of educational Use synonyms
classes
can cause Use synonyms
children
to use their Use synonyms
smartphones
for too much Use synonyms
time
, and in my view, it is a negative aspect, because it can bring some health problems and changes in their behaviours.Use synonyms
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure by organizing your essay into well-defined paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Your essay shows an attempt at this but lacks a smooth transition between points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to maintain flow within and between paragraphs. Aim to make the connections between ideas more explicit.
Task Achievement
Address the task fully by exploring both views presented in the prompt. You've provided reasons for the negative development but have not explored the positive aspects sufficiently.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples. Your essay mentions general scenarios but can benefit from actual examples or data to support your statements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Conclude your essay effectively by summarizing the main points and restating your opinion. Your conclusion could be strengthened with a more decisive statement.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.