IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

today because of how busy most parents are, grandparents take care of their grand children a lot of the time. Is it a positive or a negative situation for the grandparents?

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Have your
grandparents
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 ever taken
care
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 of you? Nowadays, owing to parents’ busy schedule,
grandparents
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 are in charge of looking after their
grandchildrenchildren
Correct your spelling
grandchildren children
.
Although
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 there may be some obstacles for
grandparents
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 towards
this
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 state,
overall
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 it could be beneficial for them. Taking
care
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 of grandchildren is alleged to have positive impacts on elderly
people
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 in many aspects.
Firstly
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, Children can easily perk their
grandparents
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 up and boost their energy.
For instance
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, the
grandparents
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 will get involved in many new activities
such
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 as playing games or even going to a park
instead
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 of staying at home and doing nothing.
Secondly
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, it might make
grandparents
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 consider themselves useful since they are doing their
kids
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 a favour. Just consider thousands of parents, who are not able to go to work because they need to take
care
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 of their
kids
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.
On the other hand
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, on some occasions, taking
care
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 of
grand children
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grandchildren
show examples
 might bother
grandparents
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. First of all, old
people
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 may need more amount of rest in comparison with little children. In
this
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 case, they will not be able to sleep
due to
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 children’s noises.
As well as
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 that, elderly
people
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 are not capable of doing hard physical activities
such
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 as running or dancing.
For example
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,
kids
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 may expect their
grandparents
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 to run or dance with them when it is impossible. In conclusion,
grandparents
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 looking after their
grandkidskids
Correct your spelling
grandkids kids
 has many advantages and disadvantages.
Although
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 in some situations it may be super hard and tolerable for old
people
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, in most cases it is beneficial for both
kids
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 and their
grandparents
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.

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on the issue. Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion that directly address the question - "Is it a positive or a negative situation for the grandparents?". A strong essay will feature both of these elements, providing clarity on your position from the beginning and a succinct summary at the end to reinforce your points.
Logical Structure
While the essay has a discernible progression of ideas, the logical structure could be improved to strengthen the argument. Ideas should flow naturally from one paragraph to the next with clear connections. Additionally, consider varying your use of cohesive devices and paragraphing to enhance the readability of your essay.
Task Response
You have responded to the task with a certain degree of completeness, but your ideas need to be more fully expounded to give a comprehensive exploration of the issue. Delve deeper into the implications of grandparents taking care of grandchildren, and augment your argument with more nuanced points and clearer explanations.
Supported Main Points
While some main points are supported with examples or explanations, others would benefit from further development. Each paragraph should center around one main idea and be thoroughly explored with specific and relevant examples. This provides clarity and reinforces your argument, making it more persuasive.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Your essay presents relevant ideas, but for a higher score, aim to clarify and develop your points more comprehensively. Cohesive presentation of strong, clear ideas is key. Work on refining each point to ensure a full and clear understanding for the reader, and to showcase your depth of thought on the subject.
Relevant Specific Examples
The inclusion of relevant examples is good, and you should continue to use them to support your points. Make sure every main point has an accompanying example to illustrate it concretely, contributing to a more convincing argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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