IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent. Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent. Write at least 150 words.
#bar #results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities #summerise #information #features #comparisons #relevent
The bar chart illustrates the habits of
people
 for buying
coffee
 and tea in Australian
cities
, namely, Sydney, Melbourne,
Brisban
,
Adelaide
 and
Hobart
.
Overall
, in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks, most of the
cities
 show that
people
 went to a cafe for
coffee
 or tea, except
Adelaide
,
while
 fewer
people
 bought fresh
coffee
. Another kind
such
 as instant
coffee
 is in the middle position and numbers. It can be seen that the percentages of fresh
coffee
 in every city are lower than the others.
Furthermore
, the share of
Brisban
 is the smallest city where
people
purchased
Wrong verb form
purchase
show examples
 fresh
coffee
, only one-third of
people
. Sydney and Melbourne show a small difference for fresh
coffee
 which can be looked
,
Change preposition
at, it
show examples
it
Correct your spelling
at
show examples
 only less than 3%. Other
cities
 particularly
Adelaide
 and
Hobart
 are in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar numbers
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
Brisban
 which is less than 40%.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
 that, in the same uniform, Melbourne,
Brisban
 and
Hobart
 are the
cities
 where a cafe
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been visited many times by their
people
whereas
Adelaide
 is the smallest one.
However
, more than half of individuals bought instant
coffee
 in
Brisban
 and
Hobart
while
 less than 50% of
people
 in Sydney purchased it.
Submitted by ieltswriting91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, cities, brisban, adelaide, hobart with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: