It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Write at least 250 words.
Some argue that
people
have to be brave to take the
Correct article usage
apply
risks
in their life
both correlated to personal lives and professional Fix the agreement mistake
lives
works
. Even though Fix the agreement mistake
work
face
Replace the word
facing
risks
might not be easy in the beginning, I strongly believe the benefits of taking the
Correct article usage
apply
risks
exceed the drawbacks.
When coping the
issues the daily life, many Change preposition
with the
people
would not want to take the risks
because they have an apprehensive feeling about what is going to happen later on. From my perspective, frightening in
taking Change preposition
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
risks
occur
because Correct subject-verb agreement
occurs
people
do not have enough plan
, and they are likely to experience overthinking about the problems. Fix the agreement mistake
plans
For instance
, in academic class
, students tend to ignore a chance to become a leader since they are not eager to shoulder the disadvantages: wasting time Fix the agreement mistake
classes
to
organizing an event and communicating with teachers regularly.
Change preposition
apply
However
, facing the risks
can be beneficial for individual people
because it can either giving
more Wrong verb form
give them
experiences
or Fix the agreement mistake
experience
enhancing
their Wrong verb form
enhance
confidence
. For example
, employed people
that
have to decide whether or not they accept a new big project from their employers may face difficult considerations. Correct pronoun usage
who
However
, if they are agree
to receive the task and Change the verb form
agree
being
happy to accept the Wrong verb form
are
risks
, they will get new experience
and learn a lot. It is because they will push themselves to study Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
about
something new that they have never learned about Change preposition
apply
it
before, and after finishing the tasks they will be more Correct pronoun usage
apply
confidence
Replace the word
confident
instead
.
In conclusion, though being confidence
with the decisions that can lead to the Replace the word
confident
risks
has brought a negative feeling in the beginning, people
will have more confidence
and receiving
many experiences later. Wrong verb form
receive
In other words
, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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task achievement
Your essay attempts to cover the task by presenting a view that risks have more advantages than disadvantages, but the development of ideas could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph clearly states a main idea and that supporting points are expanded with clear arguments or evidence.
coherence cohesion
There are noticeable issues with the logical flow of information and clarity, which affect the coherence and cohesion score. To improve, work on structuring paragraphs with clear topic sentences followed by supporting details and examples. Use cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas within and across paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.