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Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
Some
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 believe that developing scientific technologies for qualifying
society
's
lives
 is the most important. They claim that the purpose of
science
 is based on figuring out the way to enhance people's convenience. I support
this
 idea because it gives magnificent innovations which can be beneficial to not only
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
scientists
.
Firstly
, we are already living in a technologically advanced world which provides us with convenience
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our
lives
 and in order to give us a comfortable lifestyle,
science
 is mandatory.
For example
, smartphones have become one of the must-have electronic equipment
besides
 laptops and i-pad. It is commonly known that the digital cell phone has evolved into smart phone which is generally used in the modern world now
due to
 the scientific progress of devices for communication. Thanks to those changes, we are able to use maps, messages, listen to music and so on to qualify our daily
lives
.
Therefore
, it is essential for
science
 to aim to improve
public's
Correct article usage
the public's
show examples
 growth.
Secondly
, the expert can get more recognition and rewards as
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
experts
Correct the article-noun agreement
expert
show examples
 in
science
 when they create inventions which are related to
society
's needs. Compared to
scientists
 who do unknowable work, it can be easily seen that
scientists
 with a passion for improving
society
's
lives
 would get more attention and respect.
As a result
, the more they get attention from the crowd, the more they get chances to earn money for the next
science
 studies.
To sum up
, as both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
citizens all over the world and
scientists
 are able to get advantages
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 human-friendly
science
, it should be highly encouraged to improve
society
's
lives
 with technique
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introduction
Make sure your introduction clearly paraphrases the prompt and presents a clear thesis statement.
conclusion
Include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position clearly.
coherence
Transition smoothly between ideas and paragraphs to maintain a logical flow.
main points
Support each main point with clear and specific examples or reasons to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Be sure to fully address the prompt and provide a clear opinion on the given topic.
language
Use a wider range of vocabulary and varied sentence structures to articulate ideas more effectively.
repetition
Avoid repeating the same idea; instead, develop each main point thoroughly before moving to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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