some people believe that all students should be made to have unpaid job in their free time.Do you agree or disagree?
In
this
day and age, there has been controversy about whether students
should apply for voluntary job
during their leisure period or they should just learn new skills and activities in idle time. From my perspective, I completely agree with Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
notion
and Add an article
the notion
a notion
this
essay explains my reasons in the forecoming
paragraphs.
Correct your spelling
forthcoming
To begin
with, all students
should take it
into consideration that being a Correct pronoun usage
apply
student
is not only about studying and passing exams but also
gaining new knowledge and experience
. In other words
, schools do not provide students
with Correct article usage
the neccessary
neccessary
skills for their future Correct your spelling
necessary
career
. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
Firstly
, one of the best way
for Change to a plural noun
ways
this
issue is applying
for unpaid Change the verb form
to apply
job
in companies which do not require a specific educational level and Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
experience
. In Universities, for example
, there are
one compulsory course in each major which is called Change the verb form
is
Internship
and it is all about doing Correct article usage
an Internship
voluntary
Correct article usage
a voluntary
job
in related
company with the Add an article
a related
students
' major. In detail, for aerospace engineering, students
should take their internship course in airlines. Thus
, from these mandatory Fix the agreement mistake
lectures
lecture
Add a comma
lecture,
undergradute
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
student
are capable of working in Fix the agreement mistake
students
big
and well-paid Add an article
the big
a big
company
.
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
Secondly
, nowadays, one the
most important requirements for applying Change preposition
of the
in
big companies is having two or three years Change preposition
to
related
Change preposition
of related
job
experience
. In addition
, it is impossible for those
Change the determiner
that student
those students
student
who just graduated from university or school to have a professional resume. Furthermore
, this
idea which make
Verb problem
gives
student
to
have unpaid Change the verb form
apply
job
during their studying or even their free time will Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
helps
them Change the verb form
help
alot
.
The more Correct your spelling
a lot
experience
ones have the more job
opportunities will they face in future. For instance
, those who went for
work in their school season, Change preposition
to
they
could start their career as soon as possible without any gap which is happen Correct pronoun usage
apply
for
the lack of Change preposition
to
requirement
. Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
Hence
, even unsalaried job
can teach and take people lots of abilities.
In conclusion, as iI mentioned in the previous paragraphs,I think parents in the first step and Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
then
Correct article usage
the schools
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
ministery
should take Correct your spelling
ministry
minister
this
responsibility to force the teenagers to work in these situations and make their resume professional for thier
future.Correct your spelling
their
the
Submitted by sh.sharifpour79 on
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introduction conclusion present
While your essay does have an introduction and a conclusion, the introduction could be strengthened by presenting a clearer thesis statement that explicitly states your position on the prompt.
logical structure
The logical progression of ideas can be improved by creating more distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences and conclusive sentences that summarize the argument presented within the paragraph.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific, detailed examples. Instead of discussing situations in general terms, share anecdotes, data, or any relevant scenario that can substantiate your arguments.
complete response
Address the prompt directly and ensure that you respond to all aspects of the task. Explore both sides of the argument if the prompt requires it, and make sure your position is clear and maintained throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Aim to express your ideas clearly and cohesively. This involves organizing your essay into paragraphs that each discuss one central idea, connected with transitional phrases and clearly linked to the main argument of the essay.
relevant specific examples
Using specific examples will help illustrate your points and add credibility to your argument. When possible, include figures, names, places, or events that are directly related to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.