In their advertising, bussinesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is positive or negative development?
It is undeniable that owning a new product is enjoyable for everyone. In today’s world, most advertising companies are eager to insist that their new
products
are recently developed. It is obvious that,
there is a global tendency for Remove the comma
apply
this
matter and, being new in any way is highly recommended, owing to the fact that, people are facing newly discovered stuff every day. In my
opinion,it is a negative development due to
the reasons which, will be discussed below.
On the one hand, no one can deny that humankind is always in search of experiencing materials which are not that well-known. To have a better explanation, the unknown products
are desirable for society members and they are served as a remedy for our monotonous daily life.As a result
, businesses make all their attempts to use these features in their advertising in order to make consumers motivated to have their new goods.
Furthermore
,people’s desire to have all the new things is not environmentally friendly, buying new stuff means you do not need the old ones which intend to throw away the former appliances.
This
leads to many immoral effects on the environment that we all live in. Also
it is widespread
that some of the companies have fake scenarios for their advertising.Add a comma
Also,
For example
,they tend to show their products
as a brand new outcome which is highly upgraded in most of the bases but, when you buy the product, it is quickly noticeable that it has not dramatically changed and it is the same as the previous one.This
is a huge drawback for the companies who do such
advertisements which cause
them to lose their consumers in many ways.
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
On the other hand
,If the businesses do not produce new products
,they may also
lose their customers. This
is something that is
happening, everyone is eager to have new facilities and
products
.
To sum up
, it is desirable to have the
Correct article usage
apply
products
which are new, but we need to consider every
aspect of buying novel products
.It is also
beneficial if we control our desires and, not
believe everything which is advertised.Add a missing verb
do not
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
It is essential to ensure your essay has a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. It appears that your introduction and conclusion are not clearly identified or separated from body paragraphs which is crucial for the reader to follow the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need stronger and more diversified support. It is not enough to just state a claim; you must provide concrete examples or evidence to back it up. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed with specific information.
task achievement
While it is good to address the topic, you need to ensure that your essay provides a full response to all parts of the task. It seems that the discussion on whether the emphasis on new products is a positive or negative development could be more detailed and balanced.
task achievement
The clarity of your ideas could be improved. Consider rephrasing sentences that seem convoluted or difficult to understand, and make sure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next with clear connections and transitions.
task achievement
Specific examples are crucial to strengthen your argument. Try to use relevant examples from real-life situations, studies or reports that can provide tangible evidence of your claims. This will make your essay more persuasive and grounded in reality.
coherence cohesion
Avoid making generalizations without providing evidence. Instead, aim to elaborate on your points with details and depth. This will demonstrate an ability to critically analyze the task's topic.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for incomplete sentences and punctuation errors. Each sentence should be grammatically complete and clear.
task achievement
Try to achieve a more formal and academic tone by selecting appropriate vocabulary and avoiding contractions and colloquial language.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.