IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#internet #newspapers
It is often held that the
Internet
 becomes more popular than
newspapers
 which go to the past.
Although
 I agree with
this
 statement,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 the newspaper
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 an important
role
 in older society. On the one hand, the
Internet
 plays a crucial
role
 in today’s modern world. It is irreplaceable for many people, from the youngest generations. Youth
use
 the
Internet
 when they need some
information
 about their homework or when they want to watch
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
 or play
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
games.
Its
Correct your spelling
It's
show examples
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
options
Fix the agreement mistake
option
show examples
 when you want to spend your leisure time at home.
Internet
 it’s a good
choose
Replace the word
choice
show examples
 when you need some
information
 when you are at work,
for instance
. It’s the most popular form of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
show examples
. The
Internet
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
 our lives. It’s a mine of knowledge,
therefore
 if you
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
 expand your knowledge you
use
 the
Internet
.
On the other hand
, it could be hard for older society. Sometimes for old people using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
websites can be difficult
due to
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
show examples
 of technology. When they were young they used to
bought
Change the form of the verb
buy
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
newspapers
 when they wanted to have some
information
 about the world.
Internet
 for them is a new thing.
Nonetheless
Add a comma
Nonetheless,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
newspapers
 are still popular,
for
Correct word choice
and for
show examples
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
 we still can buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
newspapers
 in the shop. In my opinion, the
Internet
 is more convenient and faster to
use
. Nowadays, we can find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
 about absolutely everything. Social media plays a vital
role
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
due to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 communications,
for instance
. Because of the
internet
Add a comma
internet,
show examples
 I can apply for my dream university and find any important
information
.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 summary, the
Internet
 plays a crucial
role
 in modern society. Almost everyone
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 it every day for finding
information
, for work, for study or
another sources
Replace the adjective
another source
other sources
show examples
. I think
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
newspapers
 will continue to be popular for years to come, but they will never surpass the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Submitted by a.swietochowska11 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that both sides of the argument are presented in a balanced manner, with clearly separated paragraphs and well-structured points.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to logically connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs by expanding on ideas with specific examples and explanations to support the main point within each paragraph.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task by exploring both the reasons for the internet's popularity and the ongoing role of newspapers, ensuring a complete and well-rounded argument.
task achievement
Formulate clear and comprehensive ideas, supported by specific examples, to strengthen the overall argument presented in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Avoid using overly informal language and work on improving grammatical accuracy for greater clarity and cohesion.
task achievement
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion summarize the key points effectively, providing a clear viewpoint, and re-emphasizing the main argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
What to do next:
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