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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below gives information about salaries of secondary/high school teachers in five countries in 2009. Summarise the information be selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about salaries of secondary/high school teachers in five countries in 2009. Summarise the information be selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #salaries #school #teachers #five #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
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Writing: The table below illustrates the database of
techer
Correct your spelling
teacher
teachers
 in high/secondary
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 in
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
 countries’ salaries during 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were many precious changes in the secondary and high schoolteacher wages in 2009. Noticeably, the most valuable pay belonged to Luxembourg.
Starting
Correct article usage
The starting
show examples
 income of Luxembourg at 80.000, which was the highest, followed by Denmark with 47.000, 13.000 more than Australia. And the beginning earning in Korea was 30.500 and the lowest with 28.000 was seen in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japan. In
contract
Correct your spelling
contrast
show examples
, the
years
Use synonyms
 taken to reach
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 fee in Korea and Japan were the longest group with 37 and 34
years
Use synonyms
 respectively, the comparison with Denmark,
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 had the shortest time to
achieved
Wrong verb form
achieve
show examples
 the top level, was 8
years
Use synonyms
, just over ⅕ of Korea. The most profitable salary in each
Use synonyms
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
 was
Luxemboug
Correct your spelling
Luxembourg
 at 112.000,
also
Linking Words
 in
maxium
Correct your spelling
maximum
 payroll with 139.000.
While
Linking Words
,
korean
Change the capitalization
Korean
show examples
 and
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
, 2 countries exhibited a remarkable
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
 in the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of annual earnings and
maxium
Correct your spelling
maximum
 income, the changes were 12.000 and 13.400 respectively. The opposite was seen in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia and Denmark, where showed the same number in
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 per
Use synonyms
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
 and
maxium
Correct your spelling
maximum
 wages, with 48.000 and 54.000 respectively, which were approximately
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Luxembourg .
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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