In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?
Few young
people
perform or attend classical Use synonyms
music
concerts in certain Use synonyms
countries
. Use synonyms
This
is because they follow the modern Linking Words
era
, where Use synonyms
people
tend to listen to modern Use synonyms
music
. They need to learn and take part in traditional Use synonyms
music
, so make them appreciate it.
Use synonyms
Era
Use synonyms
modern
makes the young Capitalize word
Modern
generation
tend to listen to or sing modern Use synonyms
music
rather than conventional Use synonyms
music
. They live with technology development, where they create and supply new playlists every day. Use synonyms
Therefore
, it influences the musical Linking Words
tastes
of the younger Use synonyms
generation
. Use synonyms
For instance
, every Linking Words
youth
Use synonyms
generation
today has a Use synonyms
handphone
. Their Use synonyms
handphone
provides many platforms for modern Use synonyms
music
, so they tend to consume it.
Use synonyms
Parents
, schools, and the Use synonyms
government
really need to push the Use synonyms
youth
Use synonyms
generation
to operate and participate in classical Use synonyms
music
. Classical Use synonyms
music
tells about histories, cultures, and nationalities so that they show respect for their Use synonyms
countries
. Use synonyms
For example
, Indonesia introduces classical Linking Words
music
to its Use synonyms
Use synonyms
youth
Correct your spelling
young
generation
through art classes that help the younger Use synonyms
generation
appreciate their Use synonyms
Use synonyms
countries
.In conclusion, few young Fix the agreement mistake
country
people
operate and visit traditional Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
as a result
of technological advances, which influence Linking Words
tastes
in choosing what they listen to and play. Because of that, the Use synonyms
government
, Use synonyms
parents
, and Use synonyms
school
must work together to encourage them about it.Few young Fix the agreement mistake
schools
people
perform or attend classical Use synonyms
music
concerts in certain Use synonyms
countries
. Use synonyms
This
is because they follow the modern Linking Words
era
, where Use synonyms
people
tend to listen to modern Use synonyms
music
. They need to learn and take part in traditional Use synonyms
music
, so make them appreciate it.
Use synonyms
Era
Use synonyms
modern
makes the young Capitalize word
Modern
generation
tend to listen to or sing modern Use synonyms
music
rather than conventional Use synonyms
music
. They live with technology development, where they create and supply new playlists every day. Use synonyms
Therefore
, it influences the musical Linking Words
tastes
of the younger Use synonyms
generation
. Use synonyms
For instance
, every Linking Words
youth
Use synonyms
generation
today has a Use synonyms
handphone
. Their Use synonyms
handphone
provides many platforms for modern Use synonyms
music
, so they tend to consume it.
Use synonyms
Parents
, schools, and the Use synonyms
government
really need to push the Use synonyms
youth
Use synonyms
generation
to operate and participate in classical Use synonyms
music
. Classical Use synonyms
music
tells about histories, cultures, and nationalities so that they show respect for their Use synonyms
countries
. Use synonyms
For example
, Indonesia introduces classical Linking Words
music
to its Use synonyms
Use synonyms
youth
Correct your spelling
young
generation
through art classes that help the younger Use synonyms
generation
appreciate their Use synonyms
Use synonyms
countries
.
In conclusion, few young Fix the agreement mistake
country
people
operate and visit traditional Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
as a result
of technological advances, which influence Linking Words
tastes
in choosing what they listen to and play. Because of that, the Use synonyms
government
, Use synonyms
parents
, and Use synonyms
school
must work together to encourage them.Fix the agreement mistake
schools
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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Task Achievement
The essay needs a clear, more specific introduction and conclusion. The topics introduced should be restated more definitively in the conclusion to provide a sense of closure.
Task Achievement
Main points are not fully developed, and the essay could significantly benefit from more detailed explanations and specific examples to support the arguments made.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks logical structuring with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, contributing to a sometimes disjointed feel. In order to achieve a more coherent essay, use clear topic sentences and ensure that all paragraphs logically support the thesis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to vary sentence structures to avoid repetition and to enhance the readability of the essay. The use of complex sentences can demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.