In recent times, many people have focused on the negative effects advertising has on children’s health, behaviour and family relationships. Advertising to children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays,
people
got
exposed Wrong verb form
have been
on
Change preposition
to
advertisement
since they Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
are a child
. Many Wrong verb form
were children
people
believed
that Wrong verb form
believe
advertisement
have a lot of negative Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
impact
and should be prohibited for Change to a plural noun
impacts
children
to watch, the reason is it affect
the Change the verb form
affects
children
health, behaviour and Change noun form
children's
relatationship
with their Correct your spelling
relationship
relationships
family
. Fix the agreement mistake
families
This
essay strongly agree
with Change the verb form
agrees
this
idea, because it might influence the way their brain
think
, Change the verb form
thinks
along with
excessive buying that might happen in the future.
Children
can not identify the difference between commercial
and regular Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
station
, they lack Fix the agreement mistake
stations
the
awareness of it since their Correct article usage
apply
brain
not yet Fix the agreement mistake
brains
develop
perfectly. Many of the Wrong verb form
developed
advetisement
we see generally are diverse and not categorized by age. Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertisements
Unbenknowsnt
, young Correct your spelling
Unbeknownst
people
will see Add an article
an ad
ad
that Fix the agreement mistake
ads
not
appropriate for their age and will try to mimic Add a missing verb
are not
it
since young Correct pronoun usage
them
people
have the tendency to act like a
Correct article usage
apply
grown up
. Add a hyphen
grown-up
For example
, the use of retinol from Drunk Elephant brand have
an upward trend in Change the verb form
has
teenager
. it Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
lead
to dispute since retinol is used for anti-aging and Change the verb form
leads
not
suitable for teenager to use. The reason for Add a missing verb
is not
this
popularity is because
the Add the preposition
because of
advertisement
from popular celebrety
that have Correct your spelling
celebrity
teenager
as their Add an article
a teenager
audiance
.
Apart from that, the Correct your spelling
audience
varieties
of forms in Fix the agreement mistake
variety
advertisement
triggering
excessive buying. In Wrong verb form
triggers
this
current economy, this
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
wil
lead to Correct your spelling
will
degredation
in Correct your spelling
degradation
economy
. We see a lot nowadays, Add an article
the economy
many
Correct word choice
that many
children
got
influenced by Verb problem
are
advertisement
they Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
saw
and will persuade their Wrong verb form
see
parents
to buy it
for them. Correct pronoun usage
them
Nonetheless
, not all parents
will buy what their children
want instantly. the reason also
varies, it might because
it is Add a missing verb
be because
a junk food
that Remove the article
junk food
a portion of junk food
not
healthy or something that Add a missing verb
is not
really
Add a missing verb
is really
expensice
and they can not Correct your spelling
expensive
afford
. Sometimes, Correct pronoun usage
afford it
children
got
Wrong verb form
get
tantrum
because their Fix the agreement mistake
tantrums
parents
not
give Change the verb form
do not
did not
what
they want, Correct pronoun usage
them what
this
behaviour might lead to Correct word choice
and this
Correct article usage
a relatationship
relatationship
breakdown between Correct your spelling
relationship
parents
and their children
in a
long run.
Correct article usage
the
To conclude
, advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
in
Change preposition
for
children
have
should be banned, because Unnecessary verb
apply
children
Change noun form
children's
brain
have not yet developed perfectly and Fix the agreement mistake
brains
advertisement
can influence the way their Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
brain
think, beside the Fix the agreement mistake
brains
advertisement
can also
influence their emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
thorough
Correct your spelling
through
tantrum
that they do when they do Fix the agreement mistake
tantrums
no
get what they want.Correct your spelling
not
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure by beginning with an introduction that clearly states your thesis, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a separate main point supported by specific examples or explanations, and finishing with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your thesis.
introduction conclusion present
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion that outline your position on the topic and summarize the main points of your argument, respectively. It's also crucial to maintain a consistent stance throughout your essay.
supported main points
Support your main points with relevant, specific examples or evidence. Whilst some examples are provided, they should be more deeply explored and directly related to the point being made in order to strengthen the argument.
complete response
Address all parts of the task by providing a clear and comprehensive argument in response to the essay question. Your ideas need to be more fully developed and expressed in a clear, academic style of writing.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas you present must be clear and easily understood, which involves organizing them logically and expressing them comprehensively. Consider rephrasing sentences that are unclear and checking for grammatical errors that obscure meaning.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant examples to support your points, ensuring they are specific and appropriately illustrate the argument or claim you are making. Be careful not to make general statements without backing them up with concrete evidence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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