The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this statement?

Throughout human history,
science
and technology have served as a significant catalyst for the advancement of humankind.
However
,
while
the essence of the field of
science
is to innovate ways to make burdensome tasks easier and more efficient, there have been many occurrences when scientists practised their occupation with the wrong motives in mind,
such
as to gain money, fame, and other superficial things.
This
essay will
further
discuss the notion of what the essential purpose of
science
should be. To give you an example, in my field of work, medicine, the focus of the healthcare system in many parts of the world was to mainly provide a curative approach to
patient
care. When the healthcare system was focused only on treating the disease, the health expenses would soar highly
due to
the excessive use of healthcare facilities and resources, manpower, and drugs per
patient
, causing a huge debt for the
patient
to cover. In my opinion,
this
practice is the manifestation of the wrong implementation of
science
.
However
, there is currently a paradigm shift in the preferred option for providing the best
patient
care, which is to practice preventive medicine. When doctors started to frequently advocate ways to prevent diseases from forming or developing
further
, there would be fewer patients that would have severe diseases and their complications,
thus
requiring less extensive and costly utilization of health resources, giving patients more quality of life and fewer bills to pay at the same time,
further
emphasizing the true essence of
science
advancements.
To conclude
, my stance in
this
discourse is that I wholeheartedly agree that all scientists should think and work toward the final goal of a better world to live in.
Submitted by avianitad on

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task achievement
To improve your score for task achievement, try to ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task prompt. While your essay does touch upon the role of science in improving lives, specifically preventive medicine, it would be beneficial to expand on your discussion to address the statement more broadly. Thesis statements and conclusions could be strengthened with a clearer opinion reflecting on the 'extent' to which you agree or disagree.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use a variety of linking words and phrases to ensure the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure there is clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph which outlines the main idea you will be discussing. This essay has a strong logical progression and is well-structured, however, making the relationship between main points and supporting details even clearer will enhance this further.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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