Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

For the past decades,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
investment
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
health, especially
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
sports
facilities
has always been a topic of great interest. Some
people
argue that some
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
show examples
splurge on building specialised
facilities
to train top
athletes
is reasonable
whle
Correct your spelling
while
others hold the opinion that they should provide
sports
facilities
for their
people
.
Although
the former view is valid to an
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
, I contend that they should build
sports
facilities
for everyone.
To begin
with, it is justifiable why some
people
subscribe to the view that spending money building specialised
facilities
to train
athletes
is a good way to achieve more and more international
sports
awards.
Firsly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, by building specialised
facilities
, the
athletes
have a chance to improve their abilities better. That means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they can know how to practice correctly and effectively with modern technology.
For instance
, these technologies will provide them with a
balance
Correct your spelling
balanced
show examples
diet or training schedule.
Also
, the specialised
facilities
can help them practice in specific
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
. So that the
athletes
can complete their
incompletely
Change the adverb
incomplete
show examples
skills.
On the other hand
, I am convinced that building
sports
facilities
for everyone is better. By providing these
facilities
, all of them are able to improve their health, so they can have a dedication to their country well. Their country will be more worth living, and their life will be more beautiful.
Moreover
, it seems a moral right that
people
are able to be provided with
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
to improve their
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
.
Although
it may cost much, the country will develop in the future by
achiving
Correct your spelling
achieving
great fame.
To sum up
, building specialised
facilities
for
athletes
is quite good, having said that, from my point of view, spending money building
sports
facilities
for everyone is more reasonable.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically through the essay. Ideas should transition smoothly from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction that introduces the topic and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and states your opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with detailed and relevant examples or explanations to showcase a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task by discussing both views thoroughly and providing a clear, well-supported opinion.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully into clear and comprehensive arguments that are relevant to the task. Avoid vague statements and ensure clarity in your explanations.
task achievement
Provide concrete, specific examples to support your arguments and illustrate your points. Use examples that have a direct link to the topic and enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialised facilities
  • train top athletes
  • international sports
  • boost
  • reputation
  • attract
  • sporting events
  • access
  • general public
  • inequality
  • opportunities
  • overemphasis
  • elite sports
  • neglect
  • grassroots development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: