Some people think that it is better for older schoolchildren to study a large number of subjects and develop a wide range of knowledge. Others argue that they should study a smaller number of subjects and focus on details. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Over the past decade, by virtue of advanced living standards, the educational system has gained popularity in various countries, leading to a paradigm shift in the application of multiple
subjects
at schools. This
, therefore
, is believed to be beneficial for learners
. Despite the many positive ramifications that may derive from the argument, this
educating style is likely to be predominantly disadvantageous to students
due to
the rationales outlined below.
Admittedly, advocates of the statement that adolescent students
should better learn a variety of subjects
at schools may argue that this
implementation not only offers learners
many useful skills but also
enables a foreseeable well-rounded individual. First,
when attending to some intellectual subjects
, namely chemistry or math, students
are able to enhance their cognitive abilities. Some examples of this
, particularly include the improvement of problem-solving skills like balancing chemical equations or addressing chemical reactions. Second,
since a multi-subjects
educating style is implemented, this
necessitates a well-developed citizen. By studying many majors at schools, students
might get a deeper insight into every aspect of life, leading to a complete understanding of their future.
Nevertheless
, despite the feasible positive impacts above, focusing on some chosen subjects
is still the optimal choice. First,
favorite
majors act as incentives for youngsters’ passion and motivation in learning. It should be remembered that once adolescents are encouraged to engage in the fields they are interested in, they will have opportunities to foster their talents and potential abilities themselves, Change the spelling
favourite
therefore
minimizing teachers’ efforts in terms of helping learners
understand the lessons. In addition
, once students
can select their favored
Change the spelling
favoured
subjects
, a self-learning style will be granted. If young learners
can make a decision on what they will study, their independence and autonomy skills in learning will be ensured, leading to a responsible individual later on.
In conclusion, despite the ubiquity of multi-subject avenues in education, prioritizing several selected subjects
remains the most preferred choice due to
the autonomic and favorable
features. Because of these merits, I do expect government development aims to be drastically altered in the foreseeable future.Change the spelling
favourable
Submitted by hieu.ho on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed logically with supporting ideas and examples. Your essay showed some difficulty in this area; aim for clearer, more concise topic sentences and make sure each subsequent sentence contributes directly to the development of that topic.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are essential for structuring your essay; your work included these, but they could be more effectively executed to set the stage and summarise the arguments. The conclusion would benefit from a stronger restatement of your opinion and a succinct summary of the key points made.
task achievement
While you have included some main points supporting the arguments, they need to be more fully developed and backed up with relevant, specific examples. Your essay lacked concrete examples to illustrate key points, which would greatly enhance the task response score.
task achievement
Your essay addressed the prompt to some extent, but the ideas presented were not fully clear and comprehensive. Work on developing each idea thoroughly and connecting it directly back to the question to ensure a complete response to the task.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example