In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Communities in many countries face starvation,
while
modernization happens in
Agriculture
. Global warming is one of the causes, so the government should take action to create
laws
to prevent
this
. Global warming is a global issue where it can affect
climate
.
Consequently
,
agriculture
is one of many aspects of our lives that gets a negative impact from
this
.
For instance
, most agricultural areas in Indonesia use rain as the main resource for irrigation where the changes in
climate
lead to crop failure
due to
the dry season being longer than before. Even with the advances made in
agriculture
, if the farmer can adapt to
climate
change, the starving will happen longer.
Additionally
,
this
not only affects humans
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
other creatures in the world.
As a result
, the government have to create
laws
about
this
situation.
For example
, Indonesia committed to reducing the emissions that cause global warming lower to 3 degrees below through the FOLU Net Sink policy.
This
commitment leads to bigger actions like preventing deforestation and doing sustainable
agriculture
development.
Furthermore
, they should educate the stakeholders about global warming and
climate
change to make the
laws
work.
To sum up
, global warming has negative impacts on
agriculture
, and even better development happens in that field.
Laws
have to be created to tackle that problem.
In addition
, not only the government is responsible for
this
, but individual actions still need to down the problems.
Submitted by dyahkusumaningrum18 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear introduction that presents the topic and your thesis. Use an introductory paragraph to clearly present the topic and outline the main points you'll cover to directly address the task.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion succinctly restates your stance but does not effectively summarize the main points made within your body paragraphs. A conclusion should recap your argument and main points persuasively.
supported main points
While you've provided some relevant information, there's a lack of full expansion on your ideas and you need to further develop your argument. To achieve a higher score, ensure that each paragraph contains a central idea and is fully developed with clear supporting details.
complete response
Your response to the task only partially addresses the prompt. You need to make sure that both parts of the question are fully answered: 'Why does hunger persist despite agricultural advances?' and 'What can be done to solve this problem?'. Provide a balanced response covering both inquiries.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are relatively clear, but they could be expressed more effectively. Transition smoothly between sentences and ensure that each sentence contributes to building your argument. Use a variety of sentence structures for a more sophisticated expression of ideas.
relevant specific examples
You used a specific example regarding Indonesia but need to include more detailed and varied examples to strengthen your argument. Consider incorporating statistics, facts, or more case studies from different contexts to add weight to your claims.
logical structure
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each focused on a single idea. To enhance coherence, make sure your ideas flow logically from one to the next, and employ transition words to guide the reader through your argument.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
Look at other essays: