In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

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There is a high proportion of
people
Use synonyms
possess a smartphone, which is thought to have more benefits than drawbacks. The writer agrees with
this
Linking Words
opinion as smartphones bring everyone closer regardless of distance,
simplify
Correct word choice
and simplify
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email-checking and even banking, despite the risk of internet fraud. Undeniably, the escalating proliferation of smartphones all over the world never seemed to stop for the
last
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2 decades, especially after the release of
iPhone
Correct article usage
the iPhone
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3G in 2007.
This
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new product remarkably sets up the new era of technology at that time, thereby
promoting
Verb problem
encouraging
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software developers to create more and more applications that are easily found
in
Change preposition
on
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any smartphone like Facebook, Messenger, and even Google Maps. These are helpful tools which
facilitates
Change the verb form
facilitate
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texting and guide users right route to go when they set foot in unfamiliar places.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
are exploiting
this
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field in order to fulfil their desires. Taking scammers as a good example,
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
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in scamming
people
Use synonyms
who do not have much knowledge in
this
Linking Words
era, stealing money digitally and indirectly.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
can be easily avoided by educating those
people
Use synonyms
by giving guidelines about morality and ways to rely on and protect themselves from the mentioned danger. In conclusion, using a cell phone offers significant upsides, from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
convenience to filling the communication gap between humans, which easily outweighs the drawback of the potential of fraud.

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task achievement
Ensure that ideas are fleshed out more comprehensively. While points are relevant, they require deeper analysis and more specific examples to support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more logical flow between ideas. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to enhance clarity and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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