In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages ?

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Through the advent of
smartphone
Add an article
the smartphone

The noun phrase smartphone seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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,
life
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the life
a life

The noun phrase life seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of inhabitants all over the world has changed dramatically.
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Despite

If you don’t want Depite to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

Depite
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Despite

If you don’t want Depite to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

a few negative sides that
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

high-tech device brings to humanity
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as phone addiction, how it benefits people
on
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in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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communication and
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education
aducation
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education

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worths
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worth

It seems that worths may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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more
considerations
Fix the agreement mistake
consideration

It seems that considerations may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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First of all one of the most crucial advantages of having a smartphone is to communicate easier. The development of technology has modernized communication as it has paved the way for various means of chatting
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as SMS, text messages, phone calls or video chats.
Due to
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, people could have more opportunities to make friends internationally
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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or keep in touch more frequently with family members from
a far distances
Correct the article-noun agreement
a far distance
far distances

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun distances in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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. Take
Covid-19
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COVID-19

The word Covid-19 doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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as a prime example, when citizens had to stay at their houses for months, without having these small gadgets to talk with their relatives, they
would be
Wrong verb form
were

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb would be. Consider changing it.

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likely to experience isolation
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

loneliness.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, getting
abuse
Wrong verb form
abused

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb abuse. Consider changing it.

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of
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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smartphones
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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could lead to addiction. It is vital to understand that using
smartphones
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to entertain ourselves without self-controlling can be dangerous, as social media apps always want us to get immersed in surfing the Internet and keeping us informed.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, inhabitants gradually stick to their phones
more
Change preposition
for more

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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than 8 hours per day,
lead
Wrong verb form
leading

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb lead. Consider changing it.

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to addiction which
affect
Change the verb form
affects

The plural verb affect does not appear to agree with the singular subject addiction. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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us as badly as
drug
Correct pronoun usage
our drug

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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or alcohol counterparts. Apart from that, one benefit
helps
Correct pronoun usage
that helps

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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to consider
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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owning
smartphones
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is education. Thanks to today's digital age, students have a huge range of study materials including educational apps or instructional videos.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they could get access to the Internet to learn and explore by themselves, not only about school subjects, but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

cultures and traditions
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they could have a more widened knowledge than those in the past. In conclusion, the vitality of
smartphones
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has surpassed its
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks

It seems that drawback may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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because it supports people in keeping contact with others
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

helping children to acquire knowledge variously and easily.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Your essay lacks a clear conclusion which is crucial for summarizing your points and re-stating your position clearly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of information and ideas. Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each centered around a single main idea. Use transitions effectively to link these ideas together for better flow.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples. While you have mentioned some broad concepts, such as the impact of smartphones during Covid-19 and their role in education, you could improve your essay by providing concrete examples to illustrate these advantages in a tangible way.
task achievement
Ensure a full response to the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally and establishing a clear position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Your essay needs a balanced approach.
task achievement
In your next essays, aim to articulate your ideas more comprehensively and in a structured manner. It helps the reader to follow your argumentation and reasoning more easily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant access
  • real-time updates
  • portable offices
  • emergency services
  • social media
  • navigation
  • cybersecurity
  • screen time
  • digital detox
  • environmental footprint
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