In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages ?
Through the advent of
smartphone
, Add an article
the smartphone
life
of inhabitants all over the world has changed dramatically. Add an article
the life
a life
Correct your spelling
Despite
Depite
a few negative sides that Correct your spelling
Despite
this
high-tech device brings to humanity such
as phone addiction, how it benefits people on
communication and Change preposition
in
Correct your spelling
education
aducation
Correct your spelling
education
worths
more Fix the agreement mistake
worth
considerations
First of all one of the most crucial advantages of having a smartphone is to communicate easier. The development of technology has modernized communication as it has paved the way for various means of chatting Fix the agreement mistake
consideration
such
as SMS, text messages, phone calls or video chats. Due to
this
, people could have more opportunities to make friends internationally,
or keep in touch more frequently with family members from Remove the comma
apply
a far distances
. Take Correct the article-noun agreement
a far distance
far distances
Covid-19
as a prime example, when citizens had to stay at their houses for months, without having these small gadgets to talk with their relatives, they Correct your spelling
COVID-19
would be
likely to experience isolation Wrong verb form
were
as well as
loneliness.
However
, getting abuse
Wrong verb form
abused
of
Change preposition
by
smartphones
is
could lead to addiction. It is vital to understand that using Unnecessary verb
apply
smartphones
to entertain ourselves without self-controlling can be dangerous, as social media apps always want us to get immersed in surfing the Internet and keeping us informed. As a result
, inhabitants gradually stick to their phones more
than 8 hours per day, Change preposition
for more
lead
to addiction which Wrong verb form
leading
affect
us as badly as Change the verb form
affects
drug
or alcohol counterparts.
Apart from that, one benefit Correct pronoun usage
our drug
helps
to consider Correct pronoun usage
that helps
of
owning Change preposition
apply
smartphones
is education. Thanks to today's digital age, students have a huge range of study materials including educational apps or instructional videos. Moreover
, they could get access to the Internet to learn and explore by themselves, not only about school subjects, but also
cultures and traditions thus
, they could have a more widened knowledge than those in the past.
In conclusion, the vitality of smartphones
has surpassed its drawback
because it supports people in keeping contact with others Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
as well as
helping children to acquire knowledge variously and easily.Submitted by khoi11nk11e on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Your essay lacks a clear conclusion which is crucial for summarizing your points and re-stating your position clearly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of information and ideas. Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each centered around a single main idea. Use transitions effectively to link these ideas together for better flow.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples. While you have mentioned some broad concepts, such as the impact of smartphones during Covid-19 and their role in education, you could improve your essay by providing concrete examples to illustrate these advantages in a tangible way.
task achievement
Ensure a full response to the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally and establishing a clear position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Your essay needs a balanced approach.
task achievement
In your next essays, aim to articulate your ideas more comprehensively and in a structured manner. It helps the reader to follow your argumentation and reasoning more easily.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.