In today's world many people owm a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, a plethora of
people
possess a smartphone
. It is argued that a smartphone
has more benefits or more drawbacks. I would say that the advantages of having a smartphone
outweigh the disadvantages on the ground that smartphones
help people
contact with
relatives and Change preposition
apply
saving our
Wrong verb form
save
time
and efforts
.
The most noticeable advantage of Fix the agreement mistake
effort
smartphones
is communicating effectively. Two centuries ago, the letter is
the major way to stay in touch with relatives, but they were often lost and torn during the delivery. Making a phone call directly to a person indeed is more Wrong verb form
was
conveniently
and the information in the speech cannot be lost. Change the word
convenient
Moreover
, smartphones
incoparate
social apps Correct your spelling
incorporate
such
as Zalo and Facebook, so video call
can be made and many Change the form of the verb
calls
people
are keen on this
way of connection, especially with whom
have Correct pronoun usage
who
stay
apart from their families for a long Wrong verb form
stayed
time
.
Another advantage of possessing a smartphone
is time
and efforts
could be saved. With Fix the agreement mistake
effort
help
of the internet, we can solve multiple tasks effortlessly. Correct article usage
the help
Instead
of staying in a long queue at shopping centers
, customers just have to click the mouse and Change the spelling
centres
categories
Correct article usage
the categories
you
booked will be delivered to their houses. Booking Correct pronoun usage
they
planes
tickets or movie tickets in Change the noun form
plane
advanced
can Replace the word
advance
also
help you save time
and efforts
, Fix the agreement mistake
effort
whereas
online conferences with colleauges
at home are more convenient Correct your spelling
colleagues
instead
of travelling to companies or cafes.
However
, many people
cricticize
Correct your spelling
criticize
criticized
smartphones
cause insular
community, Correct article usage
an insular
while
others concerned about health issues such
as obesity and eye problems are linked to using smartphones
. But from my perspective, human
can actively limit their Add an article
a human
the human
time
spending
on phones or managing purposes for using phones. Using Replace the word
spent
smartphones
with a limited time
bring
parallel benefits Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
while
minimizing drawbacks.
In conclusion, smartphones
can bring us closer together and help us save time
and efforts
. So owning Fix the agreement mistake
effort
smartphones
and spend
limited Wrong verb form
spending
time
on them brings more advantages than disadvantages.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction presents a clear thesis statement that addresses the essay prompt directly. The conclusion should also clearly restate your position and summarize your main points.
logical structure
Work on organizing the essay in a more logical way. Paragraphs should clearly follow one another with appropriate linking words and phrases to guide the reader.
supported main points
Support your points with clearer and more specific examples. While general statements are made, the essay would benefit from real-world examples that clearly illustrate the points.
complete response
While you provided a clear response, make sure to fully explore all parts of the prompt. Expand on how the advantages outweigh the disadvantages by giving more detailed explanations and examples.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas presented are understandable but should be expanded upon for greater clarity. Aim to develop each point with more depth and analysis to show a thorough understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more varied and relevant examples to strengthen your essay. Each main point should be illustrated with a specific example to give it more weight and help the reader see the practical implications.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example