In today's world , many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages .
In
ever-progressive
society , Correct article usage
an ever-progressive
whether
having Correct word choice
apply
personal
mobile phone is a highly debatable Add an article
a personal
disscusion
point . Correct your spelling
discussion
This
writer argues that the benefits of convenience of contact and Correct your spelling
entertainment
entertainmnet
outweigh the Correct your spelling
entertainment
drawback
of Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
health's
problems
The most Change noun form
health
adventageous
factor of a Correct your spelling
advantageous
smartphone
is convenient contact
. Add the particle
to contact
In other words
, many people
easily get in touch with the
others at Correct article usage
apply
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
locations
and Change preposition
of locations
time
they want. From prior knowledge , most teenagers and adults in Viet Nam effortlessly make Fix the agreement mistake
times
a
phone Correct article usage
apply
call
to each Fix the agreement mistake
calls
others
Change to a singular noun
other
due to
development
of social media Correct article usage
the development
such
as :
Zalo , Facebook , Remove the comma
apply
Correct word choice
and Instagran
Instagran
... that help to get Correct your spelling
Instagram
the
information Correct article usage
apply
of
friends or family and contact Change preposition
about
with
them immediately . Change preposition
apply
Hence
, smartphones are vital for people
to access to
online Change preposition
apply
platform
and get in touch Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
in
anytime
Entertainment is Change preposition
at
also
a
essential point Change the article
an
must
be considered . It should Correct pronoun usage
that must
be acknowledge
that online Change the verb form
be acknowledged
musics
, games and videos are necessary to reduce stress and depression after a busy and pressed day at working places . Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
As a consequence
, many individuals may feel a sense of more productivity in working . Thus
, mobile phones play an important role to help
Change preposition
in helping
people
to relieve pressure and refresh their mind
.
Despite the advantages , there Fix the agreement mistake
minds
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
also
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
the
negative sides Correct article usage
apply
of
using Change preposition
to
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
that
is Correct pronoun usage
which
Correct article usage
a health's
health's
concern. It should be recognised that addiction to phones which have blue light Change noun form
health
affected
to eyes and bedtime is fundamental to our health . Wrong verb form
affects
This
may be true , but Owning a smartphone
is crucial because of emergency
situation that you are lost or need support from other Add an article
an emergency
the emergency
people
. As a result
, it is totally suitable to owing
a Verb problem
own
smartphone
.
Taking all points into account , the cons of having a private mobile phone is outweigh
by the pros of its . Change the verb form
is outweighed
Therefore
, It should have been demonstrated that it is momentous for all
Correct determiner usage
apply
people
all over the world to own a smartphone
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Tone/Formality
Maintain a formal tone and avoid contractions
Grammar
Ensure subject-verb agreement and use correct verb forms
Supporting Ideas
Support main points with clear examples and explanations
Structure
Structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion
Cohesion
Use cohesive devices but ensure they are not overused or mechanically
Task Response
Address all parts of the task and present a clear position throughout the response
Lexical Resource
Avoid repetition of ideas and vocabulary
Accuracy
Minimize spelling and punctuation errors
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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