IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

write a letter to community health nurse

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I am writing to refer
Ms
Use synonyms
Vineyard
Use synonyms
 who is requiring your continued care and ongoing support throughout her pregnancy. Now she is set to be discharged into your care.
Ms
Use synonyms
Vineyard
Use synonyms
 was presented to our care on 6\1\09 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
complaints of pain lower back,weight loss,hallucination and has history of depression.she has
diagnosed
Add a missing verb
been diagnosed
show examples
 with substance abuse. During hospitalization, she was
conseled
Correct your spelling
consulted
 regarding her
pregnacy
Correct your spelling
pregnancy
, nutrition and risk of HIV\AIDS and STD. Occasionally, she shares
injection
Fix the agreement mistake
injections
show examples
heroin
Change preposition
of heroin
show examples
 so she
undergone
Wrong verb form
undergo
show examples
 blood
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
 for HIV and
STD
Fix the agreement mistake
STDs
show examples
.
Ms
Use synonyms
vineyard
Use synonyms
 lives with her friend and has no contact with
parents
Correct pronoun usage
her parents
show examples
. She has had a habit of smoking, alcohol, and drug use at the age of 16. She has had a history of suicidal
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
show examples
 and
self harm
Add a hyphen
self-harm
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, she
was never met
Change the verb form
has never met
show examples
 a psychiatrist. I would highly appreciate it if you could take of
Ms
Use synonyms
vineyard
Use synonyms
 on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 daily basis for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 2 weeks.Kindly help her to make
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 appointment
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a psychiatrist and maternal health clinic as needed. Encourage her to participate in
methodone
Correct your spelling
methadone
 program alcoholics anonymous meeting.
In addition
Linking Words
, she has
Correct pronoun usage
her first
show examples
first trimester
Add a hyphen
first-trimester
show examples
 ultrasound at 2 weeks. if you have any queries, don't hesitate to contact me. yours sincerely nurse

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

greeting and closing
The letter should include a clear introduction stating the purpose of the letter and a polite closing statement to maintain an appropriate and professional tone.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph should revolve around a single theme or idea for better organization and flow, and transitions between paragraphs should be smooth to ensure coherence.
complete response
The task response could be enhanced by adding more details about the patient, such as specific dates for appointments and clear instructions or requests for the community health nurse to follow up on, ensuring a complete and clear response to the task.
logical structure
Use a range of cohesive devices to aid the reader in understanding the sequence of ideas and to enhance the overall cohesion of the letter.
suitable writing tone
Consider using a more varied and formal vocabulary to ensure the writing tone is consistently suitable for the context of writing to a healthcare professional.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: