Some people believes that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #book #tv #computer #games #children

The basic medium to earning knowledge for children is reading story

books

Although

watching

or playing

games

on the

computer

also

a medium of learning, I think that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

reading stories from

books

is better than

games

. In

this

essay, I will discuss both phenomena and give an explanation of my opinion.

Firstly

While

children are reading stories from

books

they can imagine the whole story which can enrich children's imagination capability.

Also

, it helps to increase their vocabulary and can make them concentrate. Storybooks develop student's mental growth and can foster their natural curiosity.

Furthermore

, by reading story

books

students can earn the skill of excellent reading and writing,

as well as

, can learn pronunciation and spelling correctly.

On the other hand

, watching

computer

games

can imbibe a child. The moving objects and colourful images can distract especially the young child from any other important tasks. Side by side, playing

games

on the

computer

can be an addiction to a child,

as a result

, students do not do their homework . It is

also

harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

their health,

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

their eyes.

To sum up

, storybooks are far better for gaining knowledge than

games

. Students should avoid unnecessary

programs and

computer

games

Submitted by tanvir0507 on Mon Jan 08 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure. Your introduction should briefly outline the points you will discuss, while each paragraph should deal with a single topic or argument that progresses the essay effectively towards the conclusion.

Coherence & Cohesion

Include a conclusion that succinctly summarizes the key points made and clearly states your position. A firm conclusion helps to signal that the essay has come to an end and provides closure on the arguments made. Your conclusion in this essay could have more strongly reflected on the arguments presented.

Coherence & Cohesion

Develop your main points with more detailed and in-depth explanations. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting evidence or examples. Although you touched upon some reasons why reading is beneficial, more elaboration would strengthen your argument.

Task Achievement

To achieve a high task achievement score, ensure you respond fully to the task. While you presented a clear opinion agreeing with the statement, incorporating a discussion of the counter-arguments with refutations could strengthen your response. Your essay presented one side more strongly than the other, lacking balance in the exploration of the topic.

Task Achievement

Your ideas are clear, but could be more comprehensive. Incorporate specific examples to illustrate your points, which will make your essay more convincing. While you mentioned the benefits of reading, relevant examples or references to studies could be added to support your argument.

Task Achievement

When making comparisons, use a variety of comparative structures and ensure to include specific and concrete examples to support your points. This will not only enrich your essay but also show a range of language skills and a deeper understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

211 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believes that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

universites should accept equal number of male and female in every subject ? at what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, there is an increasing trend in using mobile phone apps for payment purpose instead of old way of cash handling. What is your opinion. Explain with examples.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.