IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the past most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and the smart phones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

#people #travel #place #work #computers #internet #phones #home #development
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As
Change preposition
In
show examples
globalisation
Correct article usage
the globalisation
show examples
 era, the internet
is
Verb problem
plays
show examples
 a crucial role in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and it can
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
 to
work
 at
home
 without going to the office. Some people think that it is a great innovation
while
 others disagree.
To begin
 with, working at
residence
Correct article usage
a residence
show examples
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
 merits
such
 as saving transporting
time
 and being comfortable for the employee in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of their place. To explain, a
home
 does not want to spend
time
 travelling to
work
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
so people can use more
time
 to do other tasks.
For instance
,
Change preposition
in my
show examples
my
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 previous job
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I had to spend
appoximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 1 and
half
Correct article usage
a half
show examples
 hours commuting,
thus
 the benefit is saving
this
time
 around 2 hours and I can do other things,
such
 as have breakfast or exercise.
Moreover
, we can save energy and it should
be encourage
Change the verb form
encourage
show examples
employee
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
 to enjoy their
work
 and provide a good outcome for
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
.
On the other hand
, it can
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 some backdraws as well. To elaborate, Telecommunication has a lack of social contact that sometimes is limited. Because some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stability from
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and
also
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 is less
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
productivity is another issue that should be taken into consideration.
For instance
, some countries
such
 as Africa or
Sounteast
Correct your spelling
Southeast
 Asia
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not have a good quality
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
internet connection
while
 they are difficult to handle their occupation and some family
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not have a
privat
Correct your spelling
private
 room to do their
work
.
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
 unable to
work
 at
home
 and complicated to control. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, the pros and cons of working at
home
 are evidently depicted in
this
 essay.
Hence
, it
is not encourage
Change the verb form
is not encouraging
is not encouraged
show examples
 to have
a
Remove the article
work
a job
show examples
work
 on site, it should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
balance our life between remote working and traditional one that it is called
hybride
Correct your spelling
hybrid
hybrids
.
Submitted by cherriess_cr on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and precision throughout the essay. Avoid vague terms and prioritize clear articulation of ideas, using well-developed paragraphs and straightforward language.
coherence cohesion
It is important to present a proper introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly state the topic and the writer's perspective, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points and restate the writer's position.
coherence cohesion
Back up each point with relevant examples and thorough explanations. The essay should have a fluid transition between ideas, providing necessary examples that reinforce the argument.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Make sure the response is complete and covers the advantages and disadvantages mentioned in the prompt comprehensively.
task achievement
Ensure that ideas are expanded on to form clear, comprehensive arguments. Each paragraph should have a clear main topic that is well-explained, with supporting details that are specific to the argument.
task achievement
Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to add interest and precision. The use of examples is crucial to supporting your points, but they must be relevant to the topic and clearly illustrate the point being made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • virtual collaboration
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • flexibility
  • commuting
  • isolation
  • disconnect
  • coordination
  • boundaries
  • distractions
  • remote work
What to do next:
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