Some people think that excessive use of smart phones badly affects teenagers’ literacy skills. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays,
cellphones
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cell phones
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are becoming more and more popular because of
its
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their
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convenience. It
also
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is extremely useful for all
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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age
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ages
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to solve
the
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apply
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work.
However
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, some people argue that young people usually use
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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phones
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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can
brings
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bring
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negative
point
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points
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for
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to
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their literacy skills. In my view, I partly agree with
this
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opinion. On the one hand, I think that using
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
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phone
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without control,
which
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apply
show examples
will bring many disadvantages for users, especially
teenagers
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, who don't have experience and they can
addiction
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be addicted
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of
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to
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cell
phones
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. it is very dangerous for them because they will spend almost
of
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all of
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time
to see
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seeing
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their
phone
Use synonyms
instead
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of writing and reading skills.
For example
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, the young rarely find
documentarie
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documentaries
documentary
on mobile
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phone
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phones
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because they are attracted by games, music,
social
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and social
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network
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networks
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on
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phone
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phones
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.
Moreover
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, they never write by
phone
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.
With
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For
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the above reasons, the literacy ability of students will not improve when they are at school.
On the other hand
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, I believe that
smart
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smartphones
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phones
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are not only an excellent invention
of
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for
show examples
human
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humans
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but
it
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apply
show examples
also
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an indispensable part
in
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of
show examples
modern life. It helps human life better because of its utilities including
teenagers
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, who can quickly find specialized
book
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books
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when they
need
Correct pronoun usage
need them
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. They
also
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call
to
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apply
show examples
their teacher and
friend
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friends
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to ask
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for lesson
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lesson
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lessons
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.
For example
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, students are very busy, they have to study in many places so it takes them s lot of time to transport. Mobile
phones
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are a remarkable solution for
teenagers
Use synonyms
because they can study online at home. In conclusion,
Smart
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Smartphones
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phones
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have both pros and cons and
teenagers
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should advance cell
phones
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's benefits and limit their drawbacks to mobile
phones
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
becoming wonderful tools which
sever
Verb problem
serve
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their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
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Coherence & Cohesion
You should ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Aim to organize your ideas into distinct paragraphs that flow naturally from introduction to conclusion. Your current structure does not sufficiently guide the reader through your discussion, making some parts disjointed and difficult to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay properly. While you have provided both, you should work on clearly stating your thesis in the introduction and summarizing your main points in the conclusion. This will make your argument more compelling and understandable.
Coherence & Cohesion
While you have made an attempt to support your main points, the support provided is not entirely clear or developed. Use specific examples to illustrate your arguments and expand your explanations to demonstrate how these examples support your points effectively.
Task Achievement
To fully achieve the task, you should provide a clear response to the prompt throughout your essay. While you have provided a partial response, it is important to ensure that your ideas are comprehensive and fully explore the implications of the topic.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your ideas to be more clear and comprehensive. Avoid broad statements and focus on fleshing out your thoughts with detailed analysis and clear reasoning. This will make your essay more persuasive and ensure that readers understand your viewpoint.
Task Achievement
In future essays, ensure to include relevant and specific examples that directly support your argument. Abstract or general examples may not effectively demonstrate your point. Providing concrete examples will strengthen your essay and make your ideas more convincing.
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