The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
The first
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie
chart
provides data on the
amount
of household
energy
used by
Australian
Correct your spelling
Australians
show examples
,
while
the second
chart
illustrates the greenhouse
gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
which is produced from
this
energy
.
Overall
, it can be
distingushed
Correct your spelling
distinguished
that there is no direct
relevant
Replace the word
relevance
show examples
between the proportion of using a kind of
energy
and the
amount
of
greenhous
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
gas
production by it. It means that, the one which contains a noticeable part of the
chart
dose
Correct your spelling
does
show examples
not result in more
green house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
gas
necessarily. Looking
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
the first
chart
, it can be distinguished that the most
amount
of
energy
is consumed in heating at 42%. The other considerable consuming is in water heating which includes nearly
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
of the
chart
. After that, Other appliances
goes
Change the verb form
go
show examples
to the third place at 15%.
Finally
, refrigeration,cooling and heating contain less than 10% which is 7%, 4%,
2
Correct word choice
and 2
show examples
% respectively. Moving to the second
chart
,
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
demonstrates,
although
Correct word choice
that although
show examples
heating is highest
in using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
, the proportion of its greenhouse
gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
is 15%. The
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
percentage in
this
chart
is related to water heating,at 32%,
while
the
amount
of
energy
consuming
Wrong verb form
consumed
show examples
by it is lower. The other
signficant
Correct your spelling
significant
percentage is in other
appliences
Correct your spelling
appliances
, at 28% which is not
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
that much
comparing
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
to other household energies
as well as
refregeration
Correct your spelling
refrigeration
containing 14% of the
amount
of greenhouse
gas
emissions.
Submitted by s.hemmati.p on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, amount, energy, gas with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 7 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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