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Band 4.5

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects at university in many countries. Why is this? What effects does this have on society?

#students #science #subjects #university #countries #effects #society
In recent years, there has been a tremendous increase in
number
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a number
the number
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 of individuals who do not pursue science courses at the university globally. One of
tha
Correct your spelling
the
 main reasons for
this
 worrying trend is
due to
 the fact that these subjects are not being taught properly. One of
main
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the main
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 dangers of
this
worring
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worrying
 trend is linked to the negative impact on scientific research opportunities.
To begin
, there is an argument to be made that
students
 avoid studying science at their university because of the low quality of teaching.
For example
, two-thirds of biology
students
 at the University of Florida reported most of their lab classes, simply because their teacher did not have enough teaching experience to explain the materials well.
For
this
 reason, it is evident that
students
 did not find it beneficial to attend various classes, which inevitably spread negative attitudes among
students
 and distracted their
concetration
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concentration
as a result
. What is more, the lack of
labroteries’
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labroteries
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equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 and the small size of the rooms have reduced the efficiency of learning outcomes, so
this
 significantly has affected the participation percentage.
This
 being the case, it can be assumed that if teaching science subjects was more interactive,
this
 would attract more
students
 to study sciences.
In addition
, it must be stated that
this
 could potentially decrease the
comptitiveness
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competitiveness
 of researchers and lower the level of scientific
advancment
Correct your spelling
advancement
.
For instance
, many newly-graduated researchers did not find jobs in their
filed
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field
show examples
,
due to
 their low qualifications and lack of experience in the field.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
 the
overall
 quality of
innonvative
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innovative
 research will be reduced, which cut down
some
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apply
show examples
many funding resources
as a result
.
Furthermore
, there will be not enough
update
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updates
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 on the
newly-emerging
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newly emerging
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 microorganisms, which inevitably can lead to detrimental consequences in the world. With
this
 in mind, there is
not
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no
show examples
 doubt that if there is a consistent downtrend in studying sciences,
this
 could harm the health of millions of people.
To conclude
, the
overwhleming
Correct your spelling
overwhelming
 evidence seems to suggest that the increasing number of
students
 choosing non-scientific courses is related to various causes, on
the
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apply
show examples
top of them is the quality of the education system,
however
,
this
 can significantly generate a sequence of harmful impacts.
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a discernible structure, but more work is needed in organizing information and ideas coherently. There is an inclination towards presenting ideas without much emphasis on clarity or logical flow between points. A clearer topic sentence for each paragraph and more cohesive devices could greatly enhance the writing.
task achievement
While the essay attempts to address the task, responses to the prompt need to be developed further to meet the requirements fully. Each point mentioned should be supported by specific examples and arguments that directly relate to the question posed. It's also important that the writing goes beyond just stating the issue, exploring the root causes and implications more deeply.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • promotion
  • opportunities
  • role models
  • lucrative
  • employment
  • gender stereotypes
  • societal norms
  • access to information
  • technological stagnation
  • shortage
  • skilled professionals
  • innovation
  • healthcare sector
  • workforce
  • global competitiveness
  • advancements
  • economic growth
  • public health services
  • environmental sciences
  • combat climate change
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