IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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These two bar graphs illustrate the figures of graduate and postgraduate
pupile
Correct your spelling
pupils
pupil
 who
did'nt
Correct your spelling
didn't
work
Use synonyms
 full
time
Use synonyms
 after finishing their higher studies in 2008 in the United
KIngdom
Correct your spelling
Kingdom
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of the
students
Use synonyms
 who did complete their higher education have focused on their
further
Linking Words
 education and it has
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 them to choose not to
work
Use synonyms
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
Despite this
show examples
, few graduates and postgraduates had
avoid
Change the verb form
avoided
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 because of their charity
work
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2008 graduate
students
Use synonyms
 and
post graduatre
Correct your spelling
post-graduate
students
Use synonyms
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
mainly focused on more studies and
secondly
Linking Words
conciderable
Correct your spelling
considerable
 number of
students
Use synonyms
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
focused on
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 jobs,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is 17,735 and 2535
respectivley
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
However
Linking Words
, most of the
students
Use synonyms
 have started to
work
Use synonyms
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 after completing their postgraduate degrees.
According to
Linking Words
 the given
graphs
Add a comma
graphs,
show examples
 lesser job opportunities in the market
also
Linking Words
 have impacted them to
work
Use synonyms
 part
time
Use synonyms
. It was 15,235
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
graduate
students
Use synonyms
 and 1,625 postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by thiliniranatunga1994 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work, time, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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