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Many high school students take part time jobs. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#school #students #part #time #jobs
Nowadays many a
scholer
Correct your spelling
scholar
 takes
part
-
time
work
 to meet
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 financial needs.
Although
 financial
independancy
Correct your spelling
independence
independency
 and
work
experience
 are advantages, distraction from
study
 and
time
 management are the downside. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss details of the both sides.
To begin
 with, distraction
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 the
study
 is a considerable disadvantage of
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 among
students
. a faction of
students
 who
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
 may
force
Wrong verb form
be forced
show examples
 to take different
shift
Fix the agreement mistake
shifts
show examples
 in the
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.
In other words
,
scholers
Correct your spelling
scholars
 might have hectic
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 to meet their academic and
job
 requirements.
For instance
, a recent
study
 at Cambridge University indicated that there is a significant grade difference between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
work
Correct pronoun usage
who work
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
 and
students
 without
work
.
Students
Change noun form
Students'
Student's
show examples
 academic performance may
Add a missing verb
be compramise
show examples
compramise
Correct your spelling
compromised
due to
 the
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
work
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, the learners who take
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
work
 would be more financially independent and personally strong.
Job
Add an article
The job
A job
show examples
 provides liberty to spend own money rather than obtain
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
parents. To illustrate, the
renumeration
Correct your spelling
remuneration
show examples
 from the casual jobs would be sufficient to buy books and other educational materials.
Moreover
,
Experience
 from a
job
 is another important benefit.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of
students
 should spend
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
 of years
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 industry
experience
 after their studies. By doing
part
Correct your spelling
a part-time
show examples
time
job
 during
the
Change the word
their
show examples
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
scholers
Correct your spelling
students
 will get the same
work
 skills without
time
 loss. In conclusion. lack of concentration from
study
 and
time
 management
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the main disadvantage of
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
job
while
 studying.
Work
experience
 and financial
independancy
Correct your spelling
independence
independency
 should be considered as a positive side of
this
.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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task achievement
Ensure that you develop your main ideas fully to support your argument. You included specific examples, yet the detail provided was limited. Try to provide clearer, more detailed examples to better illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
You should pay special attention to the logical structure of your essay. Transitions between ideas can be improved to provide better flow and coherence throughout the essay. This is crucial in making your argument more convincing and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Remember to check your writing for grammatical errors and use a variety of sentence structures. This will enhance the overall quality and clarity of your essay. Simple and repetitive sentence structures should be avoided, and the use of more complex grammatical constructions is encouraged, where appropriate.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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