Many high school students take part time jobs. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Nowadays many a
scholer
Correct your spelling
scholar
takes
part
-
time
work
to meet
thier
Correct your spelling
their
financial needs.
Although
financial
independancy
Correct your spelling
independence
independency
and
work
experience
are advantages, distraction from
study
and
time
management are the downside. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss details of the both sides.
To begin
with, distraction
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
the
study
is a considerable disadvantage of
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
among
students
. a faction of
students
who
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
may
force
Wrong verb form
be forced
show examples
to take different
shift
Fix the agreement mistake
shifts
show examples
in the
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.
In other words
,
scholers
Correct your spelling
scholars
might have hectic
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
to meet their academic and
job
requirements.
For instance
, a recent
study
at Cambridge University indicated that there is a significant grade difference between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
work
Correct pronoun usage
who work
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
and
students
without
work
.
Students
Change noun form
Students'
Student's
show examples
academic performance may
Add a missing verb
be compramise
show examples
compramise
Correct your spelling
compromised
due to
the
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
work
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand, the learners who take
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
work
would be more financially independent and personally strong.
Job
Add an article
The job
A job
show examples
provides liberty to spend own money rather than obtain
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
parents. To illustrate, the
renumeration
Correct your spelling
remuneration
show examples
from the casual jobs would be sufficient to buy books and other educational materials.
Moreover
,
Experience
from a
job
is another important benefit.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
of
students
should spend
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
of years
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
industry
experience
after their studies. By doing
part
Correct your spelling
a part-time
show examples
time
job
during
the
Change the word
their
show examples
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
scholers
Correct your spelling
students
will get the same
work
skills without
time
loss. In conclusion. lack of concentration from
study
and
time
management
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
the main disadvantage of
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
job
while
studying.
Work
experience
and financial
independancy
Correct your spelling
independence
independency
should be considered as a positive side of
this
.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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Ensure that you develop your main ideas fully to support your argument. You included specific examples, yet the detail provided was limited. Try to provide clearer, more detailed examples to better illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Remember to check your writing for grammatical errors and use a variety of sentence structures. This will enhance the overall quality and clarity of your essay. Simple and repetitive sentence structures should be avoided, and the use of more complex grammatical constructions is encouraged, where appropriate.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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