in today;s world many people own a smartphone. do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages
In today’s digital world, more and more
people
use smartphones
on a daily basis. Although
there are some concerns about smartphone addiction, I believe the benefits that smartphones
bring such
as convenience and connection far outweigh the concerns.
The majority of people
use smartphones
because they help improve overall
convenience. Firstly
, people
nowadays needn’t go outside when they want to buy groceries or any specific products. All they have to do is search for the shop’s website on their smartphones
, browse the virtual marketplace, pick the item and purchase it. Secondly
, smartphones
have combined different function that helps their users to watch films, listen to music, search for information, and set an alarm clock just on one device. In other words
, just one smartphone is enough to replace the TV, the MP3 or radio and the traditional alarm clock. The users can save a considerable amount of money and eliminate the hassle of buying too many devices but not using them at all.
Another point worth considering is that having smartphones
allows people
to contact other citizens from all around the world. In the past, our ancestors were able to chat through phones but now, we can see other people
from the phone line, making it easier for people
to describe to their beloved
ones about their Correct your spelling
loved
surrounding
or just simply check if the other has lost or gained any weight. Governments can Replace the word
surroundings
also
use smartphones
as a way to advertise their cultures and picturesque sightseeing. This
may lead to better understanding between nations and focus on goals that all countries have in common.
Some people
argue that we are too dependent on smartphones
that we might addicted to them. This
belief is based on the fact that some teenagers are always using their phones, even at mealtime
. Fix the agreement mistake
mealtimes
This
point has credibility, but parents can help set up a time for children so that they are not allowed to play when they are studying or having a meal.
Smartphones
are easy to become addicted if we do not control ourselves properly, but with effort, we can benefit from the convenience and the connection of the smartphones
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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a basic logical structure, but transitions between ideas can be made smoother to improve coherence. Use linking words and phrases more consistently to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more impactful. Consider starting with a stronger hook in the introduction and summarizing your arguments more effectively in the conclusion to leave a lasting impression.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, yet the supporting details are somewhat generic. To enhance your essay, provide more detailed and unique examples that directly support your main points.
task achievement
The response to the task is completed, but the answer would benefit from a more nuanced discussion. It's important to address both sides of the argument equally and in depth to show that you understand the complexities of the topic.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but they lack comprehensive development. Elaborate more on each point you make, explaining how each advantage or disadvantage affects individuals and society.
task achievement
While you've included examples, they need to be more relevant and specific to the points you are making. It's essential to offer concrete evidence that supports your argument for a higher band score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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