in today;s world many people own a smartphone. do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s digital world, more and more
people
Use synonyms
use
smartphones
Use synonyms
on a daily basis.
Although
Linking Words
there are some concerns about smartphone addiction, I believe the benefits that
smartphones
Use synonyms
bring
such
Linking Words
as convenience and connection far outweigh the concerns. The majority of
people
Use synonyms
use
smartphones
Use synonyms
because they help improve
overall
Linking Words
convenience.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
nowadays needn’t go outside when they want to buy groceries or any specific products. All they have to do is search for the shop’s website on their
smartphones
Use synonyms
, browse the virtual marketplace, pick the item and purchase it.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
smartphones
Use synonyms
have combined different function that helps their users to watch films, listen to music, search for information, and set an alarm clock just on one device.
In other words
Linking Words
, just one smartphone is enough to replace the TV, the MP3 or radio and the traditional alarm clock. The users can save a considerable amount of money and eliminate the hassle of buying too many devices but not using them at all. Another point worth considering is that having
smartphones
Use synonyms
allows
people
Use synonyms
to contact other citizens from all around the world. In the past, our ancestors were able to chat through phones but now, we can see other
people
Use synonyms
from the phone line, making it easier for
people
Use synonyms
to describe to their
beloved
Correct your spelling
loved
show examples
ones about their
surrounding
Replace the word
surroundings
show examples
or just simply check if the other has lost or gained any weight. Governments can
also
Linking Words
use
smartphones
Use synonyms
as a way to advertise their cultures and picturesque sightseeing.
This
Linking Words
may lead to better understanding between nations and focus on goals that all countries have in common. Some
people
Use synonyms
argue that we are too dependent on
smartphones
Use synonyms
that we might addicted to them.
This
Linking Words
belief is based on the fact that some teenagers are always using their phones, even at
mealtime
Fix the agreement mistake
mealtimes
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
point has credibility, but parents can help set up a time for children so that they are not allowed to play when they are studying or having a meal.
Smartphones
Use synonyms
are easy to become addicted if we do not control ourselves properly, but with effort, we can benefit from the convenience and the connection of the
smartphones
Use synonyms
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a basic logical structure, but transitions between ideas can be made smoother to improve coherence. Use linking words and phrases more consistently to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more impactful. Consider starting with a stronger hook in the introduction and summarizing your arguments more effectively in the conclusion to leave a lasting impression.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, yet the supporting details are somewhat generic. To enhance your essay, provide more detailed and unique examples that directly support your main points.
task achievement
The response to the task is completed, but the answer would benefit from a more nuanced discussion. It's important to address both sides of the argument equally and in depth to show that you understand the complexities of the topic.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but they lack comprehensive development. Elaborate more on each point you make, explaining how each advantage or disadvantage affects individuals and society.
task achievement
While you've included examples, they need to be more relevant and specific to the points you are making. It's essential to offer concrete evidence that supports your argument for a higher band score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant access
  • real-time updates
  • portable offices
  • emergency services
  • social media
  • navigation
  • cybersecurity
  • screen time
  • digital detox
  • environmental footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: